Continued........

One of the things we struggle with was with Allie. She felt that she needed to report everything that happened or what the foster child did. This can be a double edged sword. You do not want your child running to you about everything and you also do not want the foster child to see your child doing this. On the other hand you child will see and hear so much more than you. There will be things that you most definitely want your child to make you aware of. You will need to talk with you child about coming to talk with you in private. You will probably need to talk with your child about areas that you would want to know about (stealing, sex talk or actions, threatening others, talking hurt self or others, destroying property, if she is asked to do something that she is uncomfortable with, etc.) We always wanted Allie to come talk to us if she was uneasy, uncomfortable, or concerned about anything.

When we had children in the age range of Allie (like a year older or younger) we tended to have more bumps in the road. It is very hard for a child to come with nothing to their name and they have even had their own belongs. They walk in a house with a little girl that has most everything they have ever dreamed of having. The child feels they should have everything she has. This can be difficult for both children. Allie felt really bad for the child, so she would try to allow a lot of access to her personal things (game boy, walkman, clothes, stereo, cds, jewelry, etc.). This gave the child the impression that the things were their belongs and so they could do what they wanted with them. As you can imagine, this caused huge problems in our home. Just as anyone would, Allie felt very violated with losing control of all her possessions.

Continued..............


“Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.”
Sir James M Barrie