The comment is offensive, but it's not so much mean as it is ignorant.

Sure, there are some foster children who have serious behavioral problems, but there is always a risk that biological children will have issues such as ADHD, autism or a mental illness. With foster children, you are usually told about these issues in advance, given a choice and if it ends up being too much for you to deal with, you can ask for the child to be moved. With biological children, it's a DNA lottery, no one asks if you'll accept a child who is mentally retarded or autistic, and if you get overwhelmed by your child's special needs, you will be judged as a bad parent and inadequate human being.

Of course, the basis of the assumption about foster children having abnormal behavioral problems is the assumption that they got those problems because of abuse, which is based on the assumption that children who get put in foster care have been seriously abused, molested, etc, and thus traumatized in ways your own biological children would never be. The reality is that most children are placed in foster care because of situations that are labeled as neglect but are actually due to poverty.

So, being a foster parent will mean exposing your biological children to kids who have experienced poverty or worse.

My kids spent a year in foster care. During that time, they saw an infant who had been neglected and had diaper rash from knees to belly-button and wouldn't stop crying. They lived with a baby who was on a heart monitor and had multiple medical problems. While I wouldn't have chosen for them to see babies suffering, I am proud of the amount of compassion they showed.

My three biological children were 11,8 and 5 when we started fostering and mostly saw children from neglectful or impoverished backgrounds (rather than abusive) , which only heightened their awareness of how fortunate they have been in life, made them more appreciative of their own families, and helped them to see past their own needs and wants. The middle child is now a social worker herself...she saw a need and wanted to fill it. The other two, and my younger adopted (from fostercare) children, are totally supportive of my role as a fostermum, and have all developed into more compassionate people for their years of experience being a foster family.

I want say all of this in the most loving manner that I can. SO please know that my tone is calm and loving. I am the Biological child of foster parents and it did jeopardize me. Let me list a couple of things that I saw happen in my family and happened to me. I had holes drilled in my walls so that a young man could watch me undress; he stole my under wear and at one point punched me in the face. He crushed up pills and put them in my food. One child busted my father's toe. I watched as my mom's heart was broken time and time again by kids she adopted and brought into her family told her that she was not their mother and all the wanted was to be back with their "mother" the one who raped them and put on shows for her friends so she could get drugs. I watched as they would tell people she was abusing them just so she would get turned in for abuse because they were mad at her. Recently one of the girls we have had since she was 18 months old punched my mom in the stomach (she is about 15 now). THEN SHE GOT TURNED IN FOR ABUSE AND HAD TO APPEAL IT AND GO TO COURT TO TRY TO GET HELP FOR THIS YOUNG LADY; I won't even tell you how that turned out!!! These things would have been a lot easier to handle if every time a social worker walked into my house they did not tell me that "You just need to understand what they have gone through; you have had a good life and a good family; they have been abused." I felt like because I was hurting I was a selfish person. I LOVE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS (not foster, not adoptive; they ARE my family and that is why we never gave up or give up) but as a teen I could not handle not being allowed to feel hurt by kids who were hurt. I am becoming a counsoler and I want to open my own group home, community center and practice. I will most likely one day be raising my two youngest brothers and I am looking forward to that day. I understand what you all are saying but it can be very difficult for Biological children and YOU CAN NOT JUST DISMISS THAT....because I was dismissed I ran to Pot for 4 years of my life. Just to numb the pain of the abuse my family received as the hand of the abused. Once again I LOVE MY SIBLINGS AND WOULD NOT TRADE THEM FOR THE WORLD! But please don't just dismiss something like this because you have never experienced it. And if you take a kid with behavioral problems in you cant just send them to another house because it is to much for you. Do some research before they come or you will be doing much more damage then helping...they are not toys to be passed around