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This is a question that I hear from time to time. It is always confusing to the foster parents waiting for a placement when everything you hear is about how desperate foster parents are needed. One of the biggest reasons of the delayed foster placements is when foster parents limit the types of foster children that they are willing to parent.
While I do understand only taking children that you feel that you are capable, or willing to parent, on the other side, seeking preconceived traits or desires is only going to work against you. Trying to be honest about the type of children that would fit into your family setting and that you feel comfortable parenting is the right decision for everyone. You have to set realistic expectations when you are talking about foster children. We all have things that we feel strongly about or things that would be difficult for ourselves or our families to deal with.
I do not feel comfortable with children that have experienced sexual abuse, granted I have parented a few that have been sexually abuse along the way. In some cases it is not realized that the child has suffered sexual abuse until they come into foster care. I also do not take children that sexually act out, hurt animals, start fires, or that are extremely aggressive to other children. I have small children and animals so I never would intentionally want them to be in harm’s way.
No two foster children will ever be the same so it is impossible to compare even their disabilities or behaviors. I have found that I like to remain pretty open to placements without putting a lot of restrictions on them. This allows me to view every foster child or placement as an individual. Then it is up to me if I think I can work with the child’s issues and what impact I believe they will have on my home.
This also goes for foster parent waiting and hoping to adopt from the foster care system. Also remember a number of foster children are adopted by their current foster parents so, that may also limit you when you choose to go straight adopt. Legal risk placements may be an option if finding your adoptive placement from the foster care system is becoming too lengthy.
Continued…..
More reading:
A Child Coming From another Foster Home
Questions To Ask When Called With A Foster Placement Part 1
