Biological mothers choosing to take drugs while pregnant have had a great impact on my family as both adoptive and foster. I am raising one “meth” adopted toddler and fostering a toddler girl that we are in the process of adopting. This week we were hit with the fact the doctors believe that she has some form of autism. Add that to her being a “meth” baby as the doctor stated that she is a high risk adoptive placement and will have some major issues as she gets older. This is not something any parent wants to hear.
I look back in my rear view mirror and see my two beautiful toddler daughters, feeling so overwhelmed with different emotions. I look in their faces knowing that the struggles that they face will only get more difficult as the years go by all because of drugs that their biological mothers took. They deserved more.
Neither one of these toddlers were the first children born to these unfit biological mothers. Sadly, they most likely will not be the last. These girls were damaged because their biological mothers did not give a flying leap about them. They were only concerned about getting their next high.
A large part of me is horrified that the family reunification is even a possibility to drug addict mothers that have done lasting life changing damage to these babies before they even have a chance to take their first breath. We have become a society that disregards, throws away children and even babies in the name of the parents rights.
There are laws that make it illegal to abuse your spouse, which gets you arrested. With children you have to do some serious damage. I have even known of parents that have broken their child’s bone and they did not get arrested. But if that was a teacher, foster parent, baby sitter, etc., they would be arrested right away. It seems that children are possessions that biological parents can do with them what the blue blazes they want.
I read in my foster daughter’s paperwork concerning the biological mother’s talking with someone (not connected with CPS) about her parenting and other problems. In this, she was asked what she sees as the problem and what would she change. She replied, “I would not change anything I have done.” Oh my…..(breath)…she has lost three children to the foster care system and two they know have serious issues.
Some of the so called parents do not give a rat’s “patootie” about their children or the damage they have done to them. Oh…but..oh,oh, these “parents” deserve counseling, parenting classes, resources, yada, yada, yada. The truth is that a lot of them deserve jail cells for the abuse they have done to their children.
The system is not going to change until we put children first for a change. Why is it okay to have different standards for hurting your spouse than your child? I hear some say that “we” need to teach other countries about parent and child relationships. We do not have a clue about this.