This will be mostly like be difficult for everyone involved.

Let’s start with the bio families. The parent or parents are anger because their children are with you. This can cause them to have very strong negative feelings toward you. You have to remember it is not personal and not to take it that way. Yes, I do understand how difficult this can be. Bio parents try and cause you a lot of problems, stated that you are the ones abusing their children, the only reason they have my child is because they can’t have children of their own, they may even tell your foster child negative things about you, etc.. It is possible over time to develop a good or least functioning relationship with the bio parents.

The foster child will deal with a wild range of emotions of happiness, hatred, sadness, depression, anger, helplessness, lack of control, loss, and sometimes uncontrollable rage (which may lead to violent outburst). In most cases it does not matter what kind of abuse or neglect the child has suffered from their bio parents. The child will direct or have some of these feelings towards their bio parents but sometimes it is easier to direct their feelings toward you as the foster parent. Every child will act and feel differently before and after each visit. We have to continue supporting the child the best you can. Your foster child may be very quite and private about their bio visits but you need to continue showing you care and support their relationship with their bio parents. In time you may be surprised when they feel more at ease with you and start sharing tidbits with you. Do not push, give it time. This does not mean their intense feelings will change, they are just sharing their life and pain with you.


Continued.............


"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."
Kahlil Gibran