As foster parents we have to take a step back every now and then to realize that foster children for the most part have many more complex issues than other children leaving them at a disadvantage. It is easy to think that in time that a foster child that struggles with food issues will realize that there will always be food for her. The truth is that the issues that most foster children struggle with come from their lifetime of learning how to survive.

For these children it was not a choice of good or bad behaviors it is all about survival. These children have to learn to care for themselves and their siblings anyway they have to because no one is there to care for them. The survival skills are ingrained into these children because if they did not have them they would not be here. I wonder if these skills will also be there to some point since they are the foundation of the child’s existence.

My son (adopted foster child) to this day still has some food issues along with other issues that he developed to survive in his short two years become coming to us. His issues have gotten much better but time to time he still struggles with them. While we continue working with him on this, we have to realize it is something that was his second nature.

I will be doing a series over a period of time on foster children survival skills, understanding them and how to working through them. Knowing why these children do these things can make us understand that it is not about them making bad choices but the only way they could live. This can also help so know how to show and teach them that things are different now that they are in a home where they can depend on adults to meet their needs.

Understand that this is something that will happen over a long period of time and with a lot of hard work. Most adults in these children’s lives have failed them so do not expect them to take what you say at face valve.

For information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to your favorite AdoptionBlogs, please visit this link.

More reading:

Foster Children without Childhoods

Foster Parents Parenting Pregnant Teens or Teen Moms

Opposing Foster Parents Bonding With Foster Children