Thank you for showing both sides. This was very informative blog.

16 weeks ago we took in the children of my husband's sister. We hadn't associated with my husband's family much (except for one of his brothers and his wife and kids) because they all have drug problems, anger issues, etc. So we essentially took in these kids we didn't know. We had only met the 8 year old twice before they came to us and the 15 year old not many more times than that. My son was involved in the decision to take these kids in...he is 15. Now, after 16 weeks and a whole lot of work on my part, the kids are doing better but mom is not even trying and seems to have no commitment to them and is instead still hanging out with her meth addict boyfriend (this is after getting out of rehab last week). She hasn't contacted us all week and hasn't been following the "rules" that cps has set down about her recovery. And so, because we never wanted to be a long term placement, and in the beginning she was very committed to having her kids returned to her asap, and now we see no interest from her side, we feel like we have to let them go. Our own children can't stand these kids who have been raised by addicts and thieves and are very hard to tolerate (even though we know why they do the things they do), the family has been mad at us since we took them because one of the mom's sisters (who smokes and deals dope) had the 15 year old (though nobody wanted the 8 year old because she is pretty gross) and she loves him. He was left to run the streets and is already on probation. It would not have been long and he would have been back in juvie. I feel guilty especially for the little one because nobody wants her and she is doing better but takes all my energy and I want to enjoy my own kids. I don't feel any attachment to them and some days can hardly tolerate the irritating things they do and I know I've burned out and that they are better off going where someone could really want them to be there. I feel sorry for them but I know that my responsibility has to be to my husband and kids and keeping my family happy and healthy. Their mom is the one who is calling the shots, she knows our position. We have a meeting next week that all of the brothers and sisters of mom have been invited to, this is a big family. All of these people have been complaining about us, I guess we'll have to see who will step up and provide these kids with a home long term, if they can pass the background check. I'm afraid we'll be sitting all alone at that meeting. Anyway, I needed a place to put down my thoughts. I hope that anyone else who has had to make these tough decisions will write about it.

I know a family that received an infant a few month's ago, this child had been severely neglected at the age of 3 months. My friends and I have all been so touched by this child's progress. I recently started spending more time with this incredible baby-I am not a foster parent,however, I am a parent of two healthy wonderful chidren. The kinship placement (emergency placement)parents are doing a good job- but are not sure if they are ready to adopt this child. They have noticed how well my family, including my husband and children have bonded with this sweet child, and seem to be dropping hints- We are very willing to take the care of the baby-not sure where to start and they do not seem to know want they really want at this time. They report that the baby will go for adoption in the fall- would they have any say in possible long term placement until adoption? We are willing to become foster parents for her and have left messages for local agency- no return call. Any suggestions?

To loving_lil_g: My only suggestion is to keep calling your local agency. Or, get the name of the case worker for the child and call them. If no call back, keep calling and calling. Sometimes, you can even go online if the agency has an online website where you can fill out the paperwork in becoming foster parents to this child.