As I explained in the post about bath time nightmares for foster children, toilet training difficulties and other toilet issues can happen for the same reason. The abuse that these children have suffered does impact this part of their childhood and developmental progress.

This can also be a way for children and even toddlers to have control. These children have lost control and have no control over any part of their lives. They have been removed from their homes, parents, families, belongings, schools and then placed in a total strangers house. A lot of these children had a lot of control in their home because of their living circumstances and lack of parenting. This can be a huge adjustment for these foster children.

Ways that have been successful for me in teaching foster toddlers toilet training:

• Using a schedule (Toileting every hour or forty five minutes depending on the child)

• Rewards and positive praise

• Letting them choose what character of underwear to buy.

• Putting them in cloth training underwear with plastic pants

• After them continually going in their underwear or pull up they have to change themselves with some help and guidance.

• A potty chair that plays music and praises them

You may have older foster children that do not close the door when going to the restroom. To close that door for them is threatening and reminds them of abuse. I had one child that did this and it drove me crazy. We finally agreed that she did not have to close the door to the point of latching but that it needed to touch the door frame. This worked for her and for me.

Another girl nine years old would not allow herself to have a bowel movement. For me, this was incredibly strange. She did not have a bowel movement for three weeks in my house before I figured out something was wrong. I had to take her to the doctor to get a prescription of fiber supplement that would force her to go. With this I learned what an impact of a child feeling they have no control in their life. I also realized that some behaviors that I have dealt with in foster children is also due to the feeling of having no control.


Related articles at adoption.com:

Toilet Training Troubles

Toilet Training Your Child