March 31st, 2012
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485740_steel_heartSometimes on mornings like this I just want to crawl back into bed and sleep for another three or four hours. Doesn’t that sound good? Yet, I know that there is a lot of work that must be done in this house, the lawn and with the kids. I know that my responsibilities for today alone could easily require 30 hours to complete. In lieu of all that I must do, I sit here on this fine morning and blog. Makes sense to me!

Responsibility and respect for those under my care keeps me on track. There are many things that I would rather not do. I had to fold and put away the laundry this morning. I did not want to. Some days, I do not mind. Today, I just wasn’t feelin’ it. Yet, I chose to do it and now it is complete. I didn’t shove it under my bed or toss it into a basket to be dealt with later. I did it. This is such an important lesson that I am working on with all four of the kids living under my roof- some are mine from birth, some are mine from adoption, some are mine on loan. Whatever way they are living with me, I think it is vitally important to teach them to respect themselves and their lives enough to complete tasks that are required. Laundry? Required. Watching television? Not.


The hardest thing for me is working the kids that I know are only here temporary through this. It seems that I work so hard at it to only find that they are not willing, forgot to or simply rebelling against authority. That is exhausting for me. It feels like life [at times] is always a battle. How do you work through the battle without throwing your hands up and saying, “Okay, you win. Go ahead and watch television. I’ll get it.”

This is a regular conversation in a home with teens. Fostered teens are no exception. In fact, they can struggle more in this regard because they often have the built in radar that acknowledges that you will only be in their lives for a season. That causes a distrust and disregard for much (if not all) of you say. Things like this have no easy answer. So far, I live wearing the rose-colored glasses that say that the kids that are leaving my home will remember what they were taught even if they didn’t appear to ‘get it’ at the time. I like to live in that illusion because the other option seems so futile. Today, I am going to tell each teen what their ‘job’ is. The one will immediately set to work, the other will procrastinate until I yell and the third will not say anything but will not complete it. That’s when the tough love starts.

Just a little something to look forward to~

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One Response to “Tough Love”

  1. adoptivelegacy says:

    We’ve adopted kids of all ages. I agree it’s much easier to just do the chores yourself! But this doesn’t teach them life skills and what it means to pitch in and be part of a family. That’s not doing the child any favors though. You’re doing the right thing by pushing on even when it’s not fun. We have to teach them now, because they aren’t children forever. Keep up the fight!

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