A comment left here got me to thinking about peoples’ thoughts and opinions on foster homes. On one hand it is believed that foster children should be treated as the foster parents own children are. Then before you know it you are told things should be different for foster children, and at times, different with each foster child.

This has left me believing that most people (including biological parents) do not begin to understand or have a clear picture of how things should work in a foster home. Foster children come in a foster home that is a functioning home with rules, chores, routines, other children, responsibilities, and structure which all of these things are needed for a working, safe, loving home. With saying that, foster children should come into a foster home including in the daily family life (including all of the above mentioned things). A home cannot function each time a new foster child walks through the door along comes a whole new set of rules and household expectations. Either they are treated as part of the family, the good and the bad or they are treated as children that you are babysitting. You want foster children to be treated as a member of the family at Christmas, birthdays, outings, etc. and then not want them to be part of the family on other household rules, chores, and daily happenings.

To be included into a foster families’ rules, chores, routines, other children, responsibilities, and structure is not a punishment for a foster child. This teaches them how to function in a family setting and other life long skills. These children come into a foster family wanting to be part of things. Granted chores are probably not on the top of the list to look forward to but they still long for all that comes with being part of a family, yes even a foster family.

It cannot be both ways!

More reading:

Fighting Battles for Our Foster Children

Fighting Ongoing Battles for Our Foster Children

Should Foster Parents Bond With Their Foster Children?

Opposing Foster Parents Bonding With Foster Children

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