Foster Care Blog

01/02/07

The Nail Biting Home Study

Posted by : Lanette in Foster Care Blog at 08:01 pm , 517 words, 354 views  
Categories: Basics, Licensing
Continued......

Home Study

The thought of this can cause you great stress. It is not as bad as it sounds. A caseworker or other staff will set up a time to meet with you and your family. They will ask questions to you as a couple, and then as individuals. They will interview your children individually. They will be asking questions that may be uncomfortable for some to discuss, the questions are personal and can viewed as invasive.

Below I will give you an idea of the personal questions that may be asked.
How do you feel about your sex life?

Do you feel that your partner satisfies your sexual needs?

Have you ever had an affair on your spouse?

Has your spouse had an affair on you?

What do you do to keep your sex life going?
Get the idea, get comfortable (or at least grin and bare it) talking about your sex life to a stranger.

The rest of the questions will be about your childhood, your parents, how you were disciplined, relationship with siblings, relationship with parents (past and present), past marriages, how you deal with stress, and how you may deal with certain situations with foster children (sexually active with self and others, a foster child hurting your bio child or a pet, etc.).

They will also talk with your grown children even if they no longer live at home.

One question that I was asked that threw me off a little was how detailed they became.
I was asked, “What has been the most difficult thing or one of the most difficult things that has happened to you in your life?” The first thing that came to mind was I had lost my Aunt to breast cancer a few years before. These are the detailed questions that followed my response. How did you deal with your grief? Do you ever feel overcome with grief? How did you deal with the feeling of being overcome? Who did you turn to? How did you move past your grief?

Do not worry if they call you with some follow up questions. My daughter was young at the time and was a only child, so at time she played with imaginary friends (like playing house, tea parties, etc.). They wanted to know if we were aware of this and were we concerned. I believe a lot if not most children at some point in their life play with an imaginary friend. I did ask the worker if she ever had an imaginary friend as a child. She said she did have one as a child.

Remember there is not a perfect family in this world, so they are not looking for that.

Continued...........

If any one has an experience from their home study or if something is different from your state please, share and leave a comment below.

SPONSOR


“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”.
Virginia Satir

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Deb Donatti [Member] Email · http://open.adoptionblogs.com
Wow, foster care home studies are pretty involved! None of our three HS's asked questions were of such a sexual nature as those above. Are foster care HS that different from a strickly adoption related one?
Interesting post!
PermalinkPermalink 01/02/07 @ 21:36
Comment from: Holly [Member] Email · http://africa-adoption.adoptionblogs.com
I also have been through multiple homestudies (not through or for foster care) and was not asked any of those types of questions. I wonder why those are considered appropriate questions? I suppose if I were asked, it would have to be one-word answers - fine, no and no. ;) Kudos for you for baring all, LOL
PermalinkPermalink 01/02/07 @ 21:56
Comment from: Theresa [Member] Email · http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/
I've been through several homestudies. We were asked those sexual questions on our very first homestudy, which did throw us for a loop! We also were asked in enormous detail about our entire lives from birth to the point of the worker coming into our living room! Since that time, I've also worked as a foster care and/or adoption licensing worker. I skipped over most of the sexual questions, but the others are a consistent part of the homestudy questioning. One of the question areas that I spend a lot of time on, that I didn't see listed, was to ask about experiences with children - particularly difficult birth child experiences and/or any experiences with children outside of your immediate family (i.e. schools, churches, big brother settings). Pretty thorough financial records and a budget are also needed. And, like you mentioned, be prepared for lots of "invasive" questioning of all sorts. But remember - the social worker wants you to succeed too. She's most likely NOT there to make things hard or to find fault! Be friendly and as open as you can - it will go a long way in helping your worker finish a positive study!
PermalinkPermalink 01/02/07 @ 23:57
Comment from: Lanette [Member] Email · http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/
My understanding is that when doing foster care, you are asked more detailed questions. I know that a number of other foster parents had the same experiences with their homestudy.

Why are the sexual questions consider appropriate? I suppose it is because you are parenting for the state. They have to ensure the type of person they are allowing to care for someone else's child.

I could not begin to cover on the questions we were asked. I wanted to hit the big ones or the ones that might surprise you.

Every caseworker or person licensing will do things differently and with different questions. I know when we have to have our homestudy updated every year, our caseworker does not go over all the questions for the update. The reason is that she has been our caseworker from the beginning and knows our family pretty well.
PermalinkPermalink 01/03/07 @ 21:14
Leave a Comment: You need to login to leave comments.:

Login | Register

Login To AdoptionBlogs.com

Search

Sponsors

Misc

Subscribe to Foster Care Blog

 Enter your email address:
 

 

Who's Online?

  • xerxey
  • Guest Users: 157