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Home Study
The thought of this can cause you great stress. It is not as bad as it sounds. A caseworker or other staff will set up a time to meet with you and your family. They will ask questions to you as a couple, and then as individuals. They will interview your children individually. They will be asking questions that may be uncomfortable for some to discuss, the questions are personal and can viewed as invasive.
Below I will give you an idea of the personal questions that may be asked.
How do you feel about your sex life?
Do you feel that your partner satisfies your sexual needs?
Have you ever had an affair on your spouse?
Has your spouse had an affair on you?
What do you do to keep your sex life going?
Get the idea, get comfortable (or at least grin and bare it) talking about your sex life to a stranger.
The rest of the questions will be about your childhood, your parents, how you were disciplined, relationship with siblings, relationship with parents (past and present), past marriages, how you deal with stress, and how you may deal with certain situations with foster children (sexually active with self and others, a foster child hurting your bio child or a pet, etc.).
They will also talk with your grown children even if they no longer live at home.
One question that I was asked that threw me off a little was how detailed they became.
I was asked, “What has been the most difficult thing or one of the most difficult things that has happened to you in your life?” The first thing that came to mind was I had lost my Aunt to breast cancer a few years before. These are the detailed questions that followed my response. How did you deal with your grief? Do you ever feel overcome with grief? How did you deal with the feeling of being overcome? Who did you turn to? How did you move past your grief?
Do not worry if they call you with some follow up questions. My daughter was young at the time and was a only child, so at time she played with imaginary friends (like playing house, tea parties, etc.). They wanted to know if we were aware of this and were we concerned. I believe a lot if not most children at some point in their life play with an imaginary friend. I did ask the worker if she ever had an imaginary friend as a child. She said she did have one as a child.
Remember there is not a perfect family in this world, so they are not looking for that.
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If any one has an experience from their home study or if something is different from your state please, share and leave a comment below.
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“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”.
Virginia Satir