Older foster children are being abandoned by society and the foster care system. Their parental rights are being terminated and then being left orphans to age out of foster care. There are some very damaged foster teens that are facing severe struggles in their daily lives which can be difficult to parent. Then there are foster teens and older children that do not have major issues and could quite easily fit into a family if given a chance at adoption. We have to remember not all foster children have major behaviors, disorders, and need the seasoned parents.
I have also seen foster children struggling with major issues (behaviors, violence, anger, hospitalized, etc.) with no real happiness in their futures, but when they find the right parent for them this can change. No, the parent was not a cure all and did not happen overnight but you saw change. In time the children learned to function in a family and society. One foster I know received a stable place to call home and a forever adoptive parent that was committed to her that would not walk away from the child. She finally found love and acceptance which allowed her a chance at a real family.
The foster care system is not committed to the older foster children in finding them adoptive homes and preparing them for a future of independence. Yes, it is harder for older children to be adopted, but I believe it is doable. The system relies on people knocking on their doors. The picture websites of waiting children to be adopted is not updated in a timely manner. When people do inquire about a child or children it takes a long time to hear back if at all. I really wonder how many people just give up waiting and move on to a different avenue of adoption? Trying to work with the foster system will require some patience.
Continued………
More reading:
Foster Children Ending Up Homeless
A Teenager Trying to Get Help from the Foster Care System
Foster Children Are In Desperate Need Of Help Learning Skills To Transition Out of The System
Lanette, your post is right on. Look at the photolistings for kids over 9 and see how many never disappear. There is recruitment for foster families, but little to bring in adoptive families. Older child adoption does work, but it needs more effort than it gets.
I will take issue with the idea of the wrongness of doing the TPR and leaving the child a ‘legal orphan’. Paper parents are no parents at all, there is no advantage to the child to not do a TPR on parents who will never be ok to be his parents.
Doing the TPR is the key to adoption. Without that, only fos-adopt is avalible. That is much less likely to lead to a finalized adoption. Lazy judges and agencies, TPRs take time, permenancy planning takes time, why do it until you just have to? Parents don’t go into adoption to have a placement that may never be theirs, and wait in limbo for years for the system to do what should have been done before anyone declared that the child was in a ‘permenant home’. John
The foster agency my partner and I use here in Kansas well once the foster child hits 16 they start life skills and do not even talk about adoption anymore for the child. They say it is to hard to find a child that age a adoptive home so they figure better to just consentrate on life skill for after they turn 18 and age out of the system. After the 15th of October we will be with a new agency who does do alot of Teen adoptions and never stops looking for them a forever home. We are the type of people that think every one desivers a place to call home and a place to go when they need someone to talk to. So yes we are a family not like otheres we are gay but we do have family values and fell that children should be treated better then they are in the foster care system.
I grew up in foster care and aged out. I was dropped off at an apartment 30 minuetes after midnight of my 18th birthday and told my first months rent was paid. I was left with absolutely nothing. I was so scared after awhile i got ahold of the people at independent liveing and they said they didnt even know i was 18 yet. after a while i got settled and in college but i didnt know how to do anything i didnt even have an id