January 29th, 2012
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1129580_frozen_sunsetI am snuggled up on the sofa with two of my favorite people. It is just that kind of day- the snow is falling and wind blowing. It is cold. So the family is reading, blogging, watching, puzzling and cooking. Everyone is at their respective ‘favorite’ activity. I can’t think of a better way to spend a long and lazy Sunday.

It’s the lazy days that get me thinking about how lucky I am to be where I am. My kids are not actually all my own, I have some on loan at this point. I am trying to work at capturing these moments in my heart because I know that some of my kids will not always be here. That is one of the hardest things of being in a foster parent role. All of the investments made in time, finances and emotional support are done fully in faith that something will be taken from my home. How hard it is to imagine what the future will bring for ‘my’ children.


I work with each of my kids to develop who they are while dealing honestly with their weaknesses. In the fostering situation, that is more difficult because the children have been in transition for so long and do not trust well. It is extremely hard to guide a child when they lack emotional stability. Every word must be chosen with care because these children are often not able to filter the comments and take away the correct message. They also lack the ability to implement changes into their lives. This is where foster parenting is tricky. As a parent, I personally want what is best for all my kids. I spend time thinking of their futures and helping them plan. While still under the transition and instability of being a foster child, some children cannot see past today- much less plan for a future.

The sun is beginning to set over the field behind my house. The evening chores will need to be completed. The kids will all have to be pulled away from their respective activity to brave the cold and care for their animals. Then all of the family will meet at the table and eat the newest edible creation that my husband made while I snuggled on the sofa. I hope that all of the kids will be able to look back on today and see it as I do- a day of self-discovery and rest, the best kind.

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One Response to “The Best Kind”

  1. torn2012 says:

    This is my first post and I am in desperate need of help/advice. First, a bit of history: my youngest son is 18 and headed off to the Air Force after HS Graduation. His brother, who would be 21, was killed in a bus crash when he was 14. Now, we have temporary custody of our great-nephews, ages 7 and 9. Their mother has been in and out of rehab for years, the father has been, for the most part, absent from their lives and is not a viable option to take the kids. My son is struggling in a huge way with having the kids with us. He doesn’t want them to live with us, but has said that they ‘are family and who will take better care of them than us?’ After all he’s been through already, is it right/fair to ask him to give up his remaining few months with us and share that time with the children? We are confident that if their mother goes to in-patient rehab for 3+ months, she will once again regress after she, once again, has the responsibility of raising 2 active children. She has a 9-year history of this. We are torn between taking the kids and placing them in foster-care. We believe that there is no sense of urgency on the mother’s part to get clean as long as she knows we have the kids. We believe that placing them in foster care may “shake” her to the point that she may have more incentive to stay clean and sober. Please help! What do we do?

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