The big thing for me personally was I did not want to use my real name or where I lived. This was to protect the foster child, my family, and myself. At first I was told (by CPS) I would have to use my real name. At this point I stated I would not testify. Then the district attorney came over to talk with me. I explained why I felt this way. She was very nice and understanding, and talked to the other attorneys involved. She and the other attorneys then talked with the judge concerning protecting my identity. The judge called me up to his bench with the attorneys, and asked me why I wanted this, that I would answer to Mrs. Jane Doe, and that I would still be under oath. I felt like I was being called to the principal’s office.

I sat in the witness stand facing the district attorney, CPS caseworker, the child’s attorney, bio mom, bio mom’s attorney, bio dad, bio dad’s attorney. This alone, I was not prepared for. It was very overwhelming. I sat facing bio mother dressed in her prison clothing and truly felt sorry for her (which I will go into my personal feelings about this in another article). Think of having a focus point and a friendly face, to look at. Things can get very heated and before you know it, you’ve been asked a question that causes bio parents attorneys to oppose nine ways to Sunday. The attorneys are now arguing heavily about what I should and should not answer. They are talking about you as if you were not in the room and everyone in the court room is looking at you. You now feel completely overwhelmed. This seems to go on forever but really it’s just several minutes. For me it was easier to look at my two friendly faces (my agency caseworker and foster daughter’s CPS caseworker) to get through the difficult parts.

Continued...................


“One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.”
Maya Angelou