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Taking Responsibility – Biological Parents
Take responsibility and do what needs to be done for your children living in foster care. I have never said or implied that there are not rare cases where children are being removed from homes that may not need to be removed. I personally have never been involved in one like this or know anyone else that has been involved so I cannot speak to that.
Our responsibility as foster parents is to provide care, teach, help them to work through their feelings, seek support and therapies for the children, show them we will not abandon them, etc. We endure their anger and at times rage at the situation. We hold them, and comfort them while they cry, or have a melt down. We bond with them, give them hope, and we love them.
While it is repeatedly pointed out that, foster parents get paid, if that child is moved to a hospital it stops. I have had two children that were hospitalized. The moment they are checked in, I am out of the picture on paper and money-wise. I have continued my parental relationship with these children because they had no one else. I have attended counseling with them, one child I did daily visits, they called me on my cell phone at work and at home because they needed a momma and there was not one person there for them. I did this at my own expense, and with my own time, because I was no longer getting “paid”. I did it because I cared about these children even with them wrecking havoc on my family.
Before biological parents start pointing fingers and blaming foster parents maybe, they should take a hard look in the mirror. The only way anyone can start to fix their problems is to accept responsibility for their actions or lack of them. Then there can be some hope for these children left living in foster care. It is time for you to step up and be a parent.
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More reading:
This has been a powerful series!!
“It is time for you to step up and be a parent.”
AMEN!!
Children do not have the luxury of putting their needs on hold while waiting around for their parents to get their acts together. Children have needs NOW. I know too many adults who struggle because they spent their childhoods w/parents who failed to step up and parent them.
Good post!!
- Faith
Great post! I am so tired of working my tail off only to hear how everyone else is suffering, being victimized, etc. Being a foster/adoptive parent is no picnic, I did it because I love children and want to help them in their obvious time of need. I know that alot of the bio-parents have not had good childhoods and may not know how to parent, but I have met a few who had wonderful parents and siblings and still chose drugs/drinking/violent boyfriends over their children. I sure don’t think I have it “easy” raising four children (out of six adopted) with FASD/RAD/Bipolar/ADHD because the bio-parents made poor choices. I am responsible for these kids now and am making the best choices I can to enable them to live their lives to the fullest. Believe me, if anyone at DHS thought I wasn’t, I’d hear about it ALOT faster than the bio-parents did.
“I know that alot of the bio-parents have not had good childhoods and may not know how to parent, but I have met a few who had wonderful parents and siblings and still chose drugs/drinking/violent boyfriends over their children.”
On the flip side of this, I had a terrible childhood but do not use that as an excuse to neglect or abuse my child. I am responsible for HIS needs, no matter what my own history is.
- Faith
This was a great blog and terrific posts! I am a new foster/adopt parent and have already experienced the ups and downs…I am dedicated to these kids and I will continue to be an advocate for these children. To the poster who mentioned have 4 kids with disorders…I had a severly developmentally delayed 5 yr and I thought he was a handful! Keep up the good work and God bless you.