Survival Skills with Your Foster Children – Stealing

I believe stealing is one of the hardest habits to break. I have made improvements with foster children over time with stealing, but it is still there. While I do understand that for the most part their stealing is a learned behavior or that they had to steal food for survival, it is something that foster parents should not overlook.

This is a criminal behavior that the foster child must learn is wrong and there are consequences for stealing. I have fostered a child as young as three years old that would steal. Stuffing food in their pockets to hide or eat later. One three year old was so bad at stealing anything every time we left daycare, stores, and our own house, family and friends’ houses that we had to check his pockets and pat him down.

If they steal things from a store or family or friends I make them return it themselves and answer for it. If you do this, call before you go to return the item. You do not want the person to make light of the stealing so prepare them by sharing that this is an ongoing problem and please be firm. I was in one store and saw my three year old foster son stuff something in his pocket. We were in the back so I made him remove the item and we talked about how wrong stealing is. The owner comes around the corner and backed up in the shadows listening. When we got ready to leave my toddler had to go up to the owner and apologize for trying to steal from him. Then store owner followed me out to tell me that he appreciated what I had done.

Yes, we always received stares and at times even glares for doing these things when we were trying to prevent our foster children from stealing. After the first few times I was less embarrassed and learning to call ahead helped me without wanting the floor to open up and swallow me.

When my children stole food then they would not get to have dessert. The punishment for stealing depended on their age, what they stole, and if they are trying to stop. If they stole something at a family or friends house then they may not get to go next time or they would have to sit with the adults with constant supervision.

More reading:

Understanding Foster Children’s Need for Survival Skills

Survival Skills with Your Foster Children - Food