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Any age foster child can and will steal. Remember they have gone without having their needs met like food, drinks, clothing, hygiene, comfort, any and all needs. So, they learn to take what they need and then learn to take what they want. They do not make the choice to steal from others, it is survival for them. This is the only way that some children have lived their life. Sad to say but some children have witnessed their bio parents stealing or having the children steal for them. So unlike us, who teach our children right from wrong? These children learn that everything for them is “right” and they have the appearance of feeling entitled.
I had a two year old foster child that would steal whatever he wanted or felt he needed. He would take food from others, toys from daycare, trinkets from people’s home, etc.. It took a very long time to break him of this habit. You had to pat him down when leaving stores, home, and every other place. As you can imagine I do get some pretty strange looks and a number of people probably thought I was pretty crazy:)
Some children will take anything, even if they do not know what it is. It is about things, possessions that these children feel they need or just want. It can also be about things they have lost coming into foster care (even if in reality the things they had were junk or just trash). I had one girl that would steal crazy things like pens, paper, magnets, pictures, etc.. She would just have piles or stashes of junk to the point of hoarding (Hoarding is another whole topic).
I am not saying all foster children steal things but this does seem to be a problem with a number of them. To change their behaviors will take time, patience, talking and a lot of teaching with morals. I would tell some children just to ask for some things instead of taking things. I was surprised that most children did not think of that. I did have to keep reminding them. They have most likely had never had anyone in their life meet their needs. You have to teach, remind, and prove to them that you will meet their needs.
“Silence does not always mark wisdom.”
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
We are still struggling with this issue after 8 years, and it drives me nuts.
In most cases it is something he could have had, if he had simply asked. When we ask why he didn’t ask..
“I knew if I asked, you’d say no.”
I have a child who is capable of mind reading. Can I take this show on the road??
This is area we are still working on. Thanks:) and good luck. Let me know if you find something that works.
Ditto. Recently I misplaced my reading glasse do tend to find laying around. After a week or 2 I resorted to wearing an old pair from a previous prescription. Imagine my surprise a month or 2 later when doing a thorough search in our 9-year old foster daughter’s room and finding them in a drawer.