Self help skills are a big one. Remember who has been there to teach these children. Most all of my children (including babies/toddlers) came with food issues. They are afraid that the next time it is time to eat there will not be any food left. This means they may hoard food (hide it everywhere), eat with their hands while shoveling in and/or want to eat all the time and everything in sight.

Taking a bath even with older children may need to be taught. Don’t take things for granted. Learn from my mistakes. Using soap may have to be explained, shampoo to wash their hair (don’t forget to explain about the rinsing process). We had a 14 year old boy, that had a burr cut. He wanted to let his hair grow out (okay). After a couple of weeks of good growth, his hair looked terrible. Yes, I had explained the use of soap and shampoo and he washed it every day. I had him go step by step how he washed his hair. Yes, you guessed it, he wasn’t rinsing out his hair. To my foster son’s, horror, his foster dad had to teach him how to wash his hair. His hair looked beautiful after a couple of days of good washing. Using toothpaste on their toothbrush may be new to them. You will have to teach them things that in the right situation, they should know. You will spend a lot of time teaching they self help skills (I will post more about this later).

I not trying to paint a bleak picture for you. You will see some great improvements (maybe baby steps) in these areas, with a lot of dedication, time, understanding, patience and love. Changes will not happen over night and with an occasional lapse. Encourage them and believe in them, you may be the first person to offer this. Understand that you may never solve all these issues.
My adopted son, Lynn (age 5) we fostered him over a year before adopting, he had sereve food issues. In the beginning he would take food from his baby sister, etc. We have resolved most issues, though he still hoards food. I believe it was a learned, ingrained behavior that may never fully be resolved. It’s something we are living with and can be managed. My dogs love all the found treats and he is their favorite person:).


If you feel like sinking after reading, this foster care may not be for you. If you could swim right through, foster care could be right for you.

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
Joshua J. Marine