What to do when you do not have the built-in support system with your decision to do foster care? First, every state and agency will have their own laws and guidelines to meet, so check with both before doing anything.

The reality is that it was your decision to become a foster parent and not that of your family or friends. When foster children are placed into the mix of things it can stress others out. Some people have an image or a distorted idea of foster children being juvenile delinquents, etc. that you may have to overcome.

Respite care is where you pay a person to provide care for your foster children, more or less a babysitter. The biggie is that a respite provider will have to attend some classes, training, TB testing, complete some detailed paperwork, and a criminal background check which is a lot to ask of family and friends.

Anyone that watches foster children has to have at least a criminal background check. In some cases, if you have a family member or friend that is will to watch your children including foster children on occasion just to help you out then they may only need a criminal background check. Yes, most agencies would rather them have all the training and become a respite provider but it does not have to be that way.

When I became a foster parent I asked all of my family and friends to consider filling out a criminal background check just incase we even needed them. Some family members were not willing to do it which is totally their choice and was fine with me. Every friend that I asked did it without a second thought and they are the ones to lend a helping hand when I need it. They are not respite providers just people in your daily life that could help you out even with your foster children.

Always take into account that if you believe that the person can deal with the foster child or that it may be too much for him or her. My 70 year old dad helps me out on occasion with some of my foster children but I also know that I do not leave difficult ones with him either.

More reading:

Who Finds the Support System and Resources for Foster Children?

Foster Parents Need a Support System

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