Telling Foster Children That Your Home Is Not a Permanent Placement

Questioning the Idea of a Placement Becoming Permanent for Your Family

When choosing to parent a child through adoption, especially from foster to adopt, we have to be honest with ourselves about our family’s needs and our abilities, to make the right decision. We cannot be a benefit to any child when we overload our plates so to speak. We have to choose to parent a child for the right reasons even if that means hurting the child by not providing them a permanent home.

In my case the reasoning for not adopting each foster child that was up for adoption was somewhat different. I always look at how the child fits into my already existing family, which to me is a major thing. Sorry, but the truth is that not all children are good matches for all families. If there are already issues, not the typical sibling stuff, with my children and the foster child then making it a permanent thing is not an option, nor would it be a good thing long term for the foster child.

If I feel that I am unable to parent my children and also meet the needs of this foster child long term or that I can see down the road that things may become more demanding on my family is something that I have to look at when adoption is brought up. When you adopt children from foster care most likely the children will have some special issues or needs that you as the parent will be dealing with for a lifetime and this something that plays into the picture.

If I feel that I am, my children or the foster child herself is unable to bond with each other then this is not something that would work for my family. One of my foster daughters that wanted us to adopt her was unable to develop heathly relationships with people. None of us were able to bond with her because she was unable to bond with anyone and kept everyone at arms length.

Next I will talk about talking with the foster child.


Photo Credit