Christmas celebrations outside the home can take some extra planning and fore thought when foster children are involved. Some of these issues may also come up when family or friends are also visiting your home for the holidays.

Mainly for two reasons: The first one being, any problems with the foster child, or behaviors that may pop up during the Christmas celebration. Granted you do not need to get into all the details but it is helpful to prepare family or friends with an idea of behaviors that could appear. Secondly, this can be the time when you can explain how they can help if this situation should arise, meaning, do not interact with the child when he starts to act out or react to him. Maybe it is better to leave the room. Sometimes the audience just makes the behaviors worse and the child just carries on longer.

It is easier to explain and prepare people beforehand to possible behaviors or situations than in the mist of them. This can hopefully help your guest not to feel so uncomfortable if problems arise. Remember most people will try to “help” by stepping in, becoming involved or even down playing things. In most cases this will only make things worse and lead to more problems, so it is best to discuss things beforehand. Granted people in their minds are trying to help but they do not understand how things can be different when dealing with foster children or children with behavior issues.

I have learned that it makes things easier and also others feel more comfortable when you discuss possible situations and how you will react giving them some insight. We as the foster parent can see warning signs of problems before others can and the way we react to the child and his behaviors can leave others questioning what we are doing or why we are acting the way we are. Being questioned about your actions and how you deal with the situation is not something you want to begin dealing with during a Christmas celebration.

Continued……

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