Struggling with your foster child who is cussing in your home and around your children. Most foster children that I have dealt with (even the young ones) have cussed. If they can talk they can cuss.. Remember how these children have been raised and what they have been around. Now having said that, if you cannot tolerant cussing under many circumstances, then foster care may not be for you. I am not saying you have to allow it in your home, but also the behavior will not go away over night. It will take time, consequences, structure, and patience on everyone’s part.

I can tolerate cussing from a child while working to get beyond it. I have a harder time dealing with a child calling me a b**ch and so have my children. This was an area I stood my ground on. Until I had a foster daughter that decided if that was the case she would write it on the furniture, walls, books, etc.. I decided that continuously seeing it was so much worse than her calling me the word. It is easy to forget her calling me the name or for my children to forget, than to have to see it written on everything under the sun. The fun thing is once I could ignore her and have my children to do the same as best as they could, she grew tried of it. Calling me the name was no longer giving her power, control, and the rush without the reactions. It was not personal for this child but for me it was. To her it was a may to interact with me, probably the way she was used to interacting with her bio family.

Talk to your foster child when everyone is calm about cussing, your beliefs, and what you expect. Keep working with the child and do not take it personal. For the most part child want to please you and truly become part of your family, even if they act the opposite. Do not change what you allow, believe, or expect in your home or for any of your children including foster children. Just work on it with the child and in time hopefully it will be a distant memory.

“A loving heart is the truest wisdom.”
Charles Dickens