Foster parents rejoice when a new child is placed in their home. With Mother’s Day approaching, a woman might feel especially blessed to have a new child placed in her home. After all, that is why they went through weeks of training and mounds of paperwork. Many foster parents have an ultimate goal of adoption and hope that a child will be able to stay forever. Initially, when a child arrives as an emergency placement no one is sure which direction the case will take. Will the child go home or will parental rights be terminated allowing the child to be adopted. The arrival of a child always builds up hope for those wanting to adopt that this child might be the one. The foster family celebrates the joy of parenting a new child this Mother’s Day.

However, while the foster mother is celebrating on Mother’s Day, another mother is grieving. Somewhere, the child’s mother is grieving her lost child. She isn’t able to receive a hug, a special drawing, or a kiss on Mother’s Day. She must also accept that another mother is receiving those things from her child.

A year ago, we celebrated Mother’s Day with an extra child. It was the child’s second time living in our home. Many times if a child goes home to parents and then is returned to foster care again, there is an automatic termination of parental rights. Since she is a birth cousin of another one of our children, her return was especially celebrated by our family. However, we knew the grief experienced by her mother would horrible. We worried about her sanity after losing her daughter a year after the death of her son to SIDS.

This Mother’s Day the situation is reversed. Our foster daughter is returning home to her mother this month after 16 months (this time) with us. We are quite proud of the accomplishments and progress her mother has made. She has worked through and overcome so much. However, there is grief here in our home, especially by her birth cousin. We will not celebrate this Mother’s Day with quite as much enthusiasm. However, another mother will truly be celebrating this Mother’s Day.

Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2008