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Six years ago, a young boy lost his mother in a car accident. The young boy found himself living with his paternal grandparents After suffering the loss of his mother, he then experienced years of abuse at the hands of his grandparents.
This family is not a stranger to child welfare. Child welfare has received at least nine referrals of abuse on this 12 year old boy. Some members of the community were aware of the boy’s abuse and witnessed patterns of abuse. Child welfare chose to leave the boy with his grandparents.
This makes a person really wonder with so many referrals, how many does child welfare receive before they start to think that there maybe a real problem. How can child welfare fail this child with being so involved with this family? Members of the community are disgusted and saddened that it took so long to help this child.
Could this be a misconception that grandparents care for and do not abuse their grandchildren? Maybe this is a reason that child welfare does not look into grandparents or other family members before placing children there. Abuse comes in many packages and with all sorts of titles. Just as the title foster parent does not mean there are not some bad ones out there.
The boy’s father has been out of the boy’s life for years but now is expected to attend a meeting with child welfare. The boy’s maternal grandparents now want custody. We will have to wait and see if the child will be turned over so easily without checking out the grandparents appropriately before placing the child with them.
Where were this boy’s father and other grandparents while he suffered abuse? What has to happen to keep children from repeatedly being abused and falling through the cracks of our child welfare system?
More reading:
“Could this be a misconception that grandparents care for and do not abuse their grandchildren?”
I know many adult survivors of childhood abuse, and every type of relative, as well as non-relative, is represented in the abuser pool. Yes, there is a societal misconception that only fathers or possibly uncles abuse children. I have heard stories of grandfathers, grandmothers, mothers, aunts, cousins, etc. abusing children. Abusers can also be neighbors, teachers, family friends, pastors, or anyone else with access to children.
Bottom line — ANYONE can be an abuser, whether they are male or female, related or not. This is why I do not leave my child in the custody of another person alone unless I trust that person with my life. As for group situations like schools and camps, I choose programs with more than one teacher in the room as well as windows in the classroom.
- Faith