March 15th, 2006
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In a recent post from someone (I read it and then it disappeared), there was talk about the misconception people have about adopted kids being serial killers. I haven’t personally heard about that, but I am not surprised. It seems a lot of people don’t understand others who are not like them in terms of religion, sexual orientation, interests, political affiliations, …etc.

While I don’t agree that adopted children turn out to be serial killers, it is true that foster children, and especially older foster children, do have some serious problems if they do not have a caring adult in their lives. Research shows that these children do not function effectively after leaving foster care, but children that have the support of a committed adult in their lives relate to others better, take fewer risks, have better health, and overcome adversity more easily.

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This is part of human nature, to want to be with others, and feel a sense of belonging. At an age when “typical” children are starting to transition to adulthood, foster youth are not able to transition as well because they don’t have the support that other children do, and so are afraid of moving forward. Like it says in the quote I posted the other day, they haven’t been taught how to fly OR given something solid to stand on.

“People say kids my age are hard to place
and that time is running out for me.
Please don’t give up on trying.
I’m already having trouble holding on to my hope.”
– foster youth waiting for a family

Most of the problem lies with the current foster care system, and the fact that theses children are not being prepared for being on their own. Life skills have not been learned (or taught), and they are left to fend for themselves. It reminds me of how animals raise their young. They are sure that by the time the youngster leaves the nest, or den or whichever house they live in, that they are ready and able to be on their own. The animals have it right. In fact, they routinely take in other young that are not their own and do a good job raising them. If only we could be as charitable…

2 Responses to “Misconceptions”

  1. Dr. G says:

    Bill that was me! I wrote a post about adoption stereotypes and how painful it hurtful they can be. I was exaggerating for the purpose of making that point. Although there is an entire website that is devoted specifically to the topic of serial killers who were adopted. I just get so sick and tired of people making stupid comments about not adopting because “you don’t know what you’re getting” or “you don’t know nothing about their mama and daddy” or “you could end up with a real problem on your hands.” That’s why I wrote that post.

  2. Bill says:

    Thanks Dr. G,
    I thought I was in the twilight zone or something…

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