March 27th, 2012
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850745_rainy_eveningWe have lost our sunshine. All of those posts about how beautiful it was outside and how happy I was that summer had come early this year- we are supposed to get snow by the end of the week. I had to laugh at myself for how downhearted that made me feel. I should expect this type of weather but somehow every year it sideswipes me and leaves me feeling as though someone took away my birthday. Perhaps that general feeling of desperation comes from the fact that when it is cold, the kids are inside more. I know that sounds terrible but it is so true. When they are outside, they make their messes out there. They work and play outside. That is all wonderful but the best part is that their bickering- outside as well.


I realized the other day that all of the kids foster, adopted, exchange student and biological do better when the sun is shining, birds are chirping and they are outside to hear it. It makes for a happier home. It makes for a happier mom.

I have been really thinking about foster children lately. I have felt a major pull on my heart. There are so many children that need a good home. They sometimes need a stop on their journey. Other times, they need a permanent relocation. Whatever their need, the fact that there are programs in existence to meet it is simply amazing. I get discouraged at times because I can see all of the cracks and flaws in the system. I know that things are not perfect and I feel defeated by the little bit I contribute. Do you ever struggle in that manner?

I do not think that it is a scarce feeling. There are so many people who are giving of themselves and their families to offer whatever they can to a child who needs a hand and yet there is such a growing need. Is the little bit contributed actually making a difference? I want to say, “Yes, it’s making a difference.”

I want to convince myself of that fact but I am not certain. I do not know. I know that there are kids who are coming into the program but I rarely hear about those going out. Are they making their way in the world? Are they successful? Are they able to handle college, marriage and family? I wish I knew.

I choose to foster because I believe in the power of a hand-up. I believe that everything invested in the life of a child is not wasted. It is for that reason and that reason only- I carry on.

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2 Responses to “I Carry On”

  1. ckrouzian says:

    Great post and very encouraging in a system that often is filled with negative stories. My wife and I are in the process of adopting 6 children who are all under the age of 7. Fun times are always at our home! Regardless of the backgrounds of the children, we strive to teach, encourage and help secure all of the children in our care. There are so many good people with wonderful stories that we unfortuantly rarely hear of. My wife and I have started a foster care website to help support other foster parents deal with some of the issues that come with fostering.

    Thanks for the post and keep writing these great posts!

    Carlo & Heidi

  2. miraej says:

    I hear you! I have had three girls age out of the system and all have been homeless at one time or another. But I am their touchstone – each one says that I did make (and continue to make) a difference. You are making a difference. The sun will come back soon.

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