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Trying to work with and make biological parents feels part of their children’s lives while in foster care can be rocky. You may only have a few biological parents that really seem to care or want to be involved (personally I have only had a few, myself). I do feel it is important to try and keep them involved even if it seems most do not want anything to do with the foster parents.
- Pictures are a great way for the biological parents to remain connected to their children. You do not need to bring pictures to every visit, just every now and then.
- Relay school accomplishments of the child. For most foster children school has been a struggle for them so even their minor accomplishments to them are major ones. So, even if it is just passing a weekly spelling test share it with the biological parents. Share that the child is getting tutoring in an area that she have been needing help with.
- Share information about doctor appointments.
- Share the foster children’s extra-curricular activities, girl’s or boy’s scouts, sport teams, dance, music, etc. In a lot of cases foster children have not experienced being involved in extra-curricular activities, so this can be very exciting to them.
- Keep the biological parents up to date on the child’s developmental milestones. This can be very important when the foster child is an infant or toddler.
- I had one biological mother that wanted a note weekly at his visits that shared about what kind of week he had, or other information.
- When you are fostering younger children you can share information like the child’s favorite book, food, toy, etc. Sharing something that the happened that week like, playing at the park, going swimming, or other special outings.
Even if you do not transport your foster children to their visits you can still have contact with the biological parents through notes letting them know what has been going on with their children. Do not take it personal if the biological parents do not seem to react to this or they do not seem to even care. We have to remember we are doing what is best for the children, not the biological parents.
Please you thoughts and ideas below.
More reading:
Dealing With Issues From the Foster Child’s Bio Family Part 1
Does The Foster Child’s Bio Family Have a Say in What Happens in Your Home? Part 1
I am truly heart sick with my thwarted efforts to be a part of my daughter’s life. She is in forster care for 9 months. She is with a family I asked that she be placed with temorarily when I’d become very depressed. Turned out that the meds I was on (14) for a medical condition were reeking havoc with my energy, will, judgement…and more. With the relatively evil influence of this foster mom, foster care is doing everything, legal or otherwise, to keep my child from me. I am seeing her one hour per week in “therapeutic visitation”— don’t ask! I’ve complied with all court mandates, and then some. I am working two jobs, my home (the subject of a neglect charge) is in beautiful order. While not abusing substances other than as prescribed, I’ve attended AA because I felt that I’d find others with some of my issues, and most importantly, overcome the isolation which had issued from the medical condition for which I was medicated. The “system” is doing everything, including lying, to indicate that I am mentally ill. I love my daughter deeply (she happens to be adopted also). I am encountering lies, obstacles, negative distortion, professional conflict of interest, HIPAA violations galore, and more. My attorney is honest but not very assertive at all. He is continually converted in his determination by the Law Guardian who has stated to him that she wants my daughter to remain in the foster home. I am desperate. Help???
That sounds like a really bad situation. Maybe the drugs have not completely gone out of your system and their is still questionable behavior that you just aren’t aware of. Honestly cps will reunite kids with parents right out of rehab who have temporary living situations all to get them off the books. You have the opportunity to speak in court…use it wisely.
THIS IS INDEED A REALLY BAD SITUATION. THE FOSTER MOTHER IS SOMEONE I’VE KNOWN FOR MANY YEARS AND WANTS CUSTODY OF MY DAUGHTER. FOSTER CARE IS COLLUDING WITH HER AND IS AN INCREDIBLE FONT OF LIES. I’VE TAKEN TO CONDUCTING CONTACT VIA FAX SO THAT IT IS IN WRITING. BUT I REMAIN CONTINUALLY SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED BY THE ON-GOING LIES TO DENIGRATE ME AND SEPARATE ME FROM MY DAUGHTER. MY ATTORNEY TALKS ‘being agressive with foster care” but is not taking any action. It is tough to stay on the right course, but I will.
BHG