For a foster child to feel like she has some control in her life is important. It can also make things better on yourself with a decrease in behaviors and she is not fighting you every step of the way. You may be surprised to see a foster child relax somewhat and let her guard down with you.

Below you will get some ideas of ways to allow a foster child to feel like them have some control over her life and what happens to her. They do not need to be major choices or decisions to work.

Give the child the choice of two outfits (that you have already picked out) to wear that day.

If a teen hates and has issues when you ask them to take a shower before bedtime, give her the option of doing it before bed or in the morning.

If breakfast is a struggle then an option could be muffins, yogurt, or breakfast bar for a child. You may need to remind the child that it is a choice meaning she cannot have all of them (this could happen if you are dealing with a foster child with food issues).

Food for foster children can be a motivation that you can use to allow the feeling of control by letting them choose the vegetable you have with dinner. While grocery shopping, let them what kind of fruits or cereals to buy.

Even toddlers struggle to have control in their lives and want some independence. Hopefully this will give you some ideas to help you give your foster children a sense of self back to them. Allowing these foster children a sense of control in their lives and environments can have a great impact on the children’s self-esteem.

The important thing is to give them choices that you can live with.

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