e-mail
A reader posed a question to me after reading a blog I wrote for my daughter on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The blog was a reminder that racism and prejudice are alive and well in today’s world. I suggested that it is up to us parents, to change the world’s thinking, at home one child at a time. We cannot allow our children to make racist comments, repeat, or even listen to racist jokes at home. Educate your children about judging a person by his or her heart, actions, and words, instead of by the color of skin.
Here is the readers comment.
Question for you. My son is from Guatemala, and is getting “teased” by another boy about being “brown”, such as, here comes that “brown kid”, “what is that brown kid doing now. As a non-violent, accepting mom, what do I tell my son about these kinds of comments? It’s happening at after school care, so I am dealing with it at the parent/director/policy level. But I am wondering how do I help my son steer his ship through these confusing waters?
Here are some suggestions I made to the reader. However, I am hoping that some of you may have some experienced comments that have really worked for your children that you want to share with this reader. The reader doesn’t tell us exactly how old her son is, but we can assume that he is between five and twelve. Because he is in an after school care program.
I guess it would depend on his age and maturity level. Is he old enough to say something like, “You pay hundreds of dollars to a tanning salon to look like me, mine’s natural.”
You know Jesus had brown skin.
One of the most important and intelligent men in America, Carlos Gutierrez, an advisor to the president has brown skin. He is the secretary of commerce.
A man with brown skin is running for president of the United States.
This summer, your skin will be brown too.
I have a name; it is “Johnny,” what’s your name? Do you want to be friends?
We were required to participate in six hours of cross-racial parenting classes before adopted transracially. I am not sure if that is a requirement for those of you adopting internationally. In our training, we were told to expect prejudice and racism and that we needed to prepare our children for it as well. Some of the suggestions were to make sure our children have positive role models from their culture. People they can look at with pride and say if he or she can be that, then I can too. Our children need pride in their heritage and high self-esteem to hold their own.
Related Blog
But She Is Black…
They Shouldn’t Allow Blacks in Here
Photo Credit Julia Fuller 2006
My friend who also is involved in foster care and adoption took this issue on directly. She bought a large bag of M&M’s and pulled out a bowl of yellow ones. Then she placed a bowl of mixed colors in front of all her children (bio, neighbor kids, foster kids, adopted kids) who were sitting around a table. She offered them each a trip to Chuckee Cheeses if they could identify pick out the color of any three candies while blindfolded. Eventually they got the message and the kids talked it out with very little parental discussion. My friend then pointed out how colorful the bowl is – then pointed to the all yellow bowl and asked “Wouldn’t just one color be boring?” The kids got it and continued to reinforce it with their other friends for weeks later.
That was a great way for you to deal with the problem. I will be picking up a bag of M&M