Foster Parenting, Foster Child, Foster Care Blog - Foster Parents Involvement With School Activities

10/29/07

Foster Parents Involvement With School Activities

Posted by : Lanette in Foster Care Blog at 10:59 pm , 384 words, 215 views
Categories: School

It is the time of year for room mother involvement, field trips, parties, etc that take place in the school. What does that have to do with foster care? Well, it should have a lot to do with it since you are the acting parent for your foster children. This is an area that foster parents tend to overlook or maybe outright ignore.

My husband is a special education teacher and a few years back I also worked with special ed. students. We both have also worked or had knowledge of foster parents in the school we worked with and have been very surprised how many foster parents do not get involved with their foster child’s school needs.

Foster children have shown up at school without monies for a field trip, sack lunch, etc. These children realize and understand that they are not bringing items for class parties, crafts, or other school events that other children in their class are doing. At Christmas when students are asked to bring a wrapped children’s book to exchange with classmates, the foster child does not bring one. This only sends the message that the child is not important or valued as other children are. How can they ever begin to fit in without us (foster parents) doing our part?

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I do understand that when you have multiple foster children and your own children in school those things can add up fast. I have made it a point to let the teacher know that I will help at as much as I can but remind her of two things. Please do not wait until the last minute to send me searching for things for six different children and remember I have five other children that I also have to help. This way you will not be the parent that is chosen to provide hot dogs or treat bags for thirty children. The teacher most likely will take what you have told her into account asking you to bring something not to expensive.

This is a very important part of making the foster child feel part of things, that you care about them, what is happening in their life is important, etc.

More reading:

Foster Children at Halloween

Autumn and the Effects on Foster Care

Photo Credit

3 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: condo-mom [Member]

Lanette --

I will be passing your post on to some friends with 2 foster kids whom I watch/tutor 2x week. They are amazing new parents, with no previous bio-kid experience. I don't know how they do it all -- the therapy days, the visits-with-family and the sibling-visits, the meetings with regular teachers and special ed teachers (of course not at the same time) and the foster parent training events . . . it's nuts !! And they both have challenging careers and long-time commitments at church.

The kids always have extra snacks in their backpacks, and when I have them for the day their foster mom even sends along lunch for me and my kids !! I know they are eating well at home. These parents are doing everything right -- or hitting 90+ percent, anyway.

If they were to ask me, I would advise Against volunteering for the Fieldtrips or helping with the Christmas Party -- they are doing PLENTY already, it seems. (Plus schools in this state seem to have a lot of partying, an excessive "goody-bag culture" it seems.) The exception might be if they have concerns about their foster-child's behavior: one of them came with a habit of running away, which would certainly make a fieldtrip more exciting.

Good insights -- we may consider fostering ourselves, so Thanks. Rachel

Permalink 10/30/07 @ 09:19

Comment from: getting old [Member]

I've seen the flip side often as a special ed teacher... since I fostered for 5 years.. I do realize people have very different reasons for fostering...

One year I supplied snack to all my students simply because I knew one kid was living at a foster home who to put it nicely was clearly just doing it for the money...

locally we have special fund to pay for very low income and foster children's P.E. clothes, school supplies, etc...

I have paid student's field trip money, etc.. when the FP refused to complete the request form and any of a number of other things...

I as a teacher bought the extra book and wrapped it, etc...

bought an extra special winter break present just for that child, as I almost always buy all my students something... etc..

I can remember not having the money to fork over $29 for a field trip for one of my foster children to go somewhere, and also not wanting to put out the money knowing good and well that the trip 6 weeks away could come after said child was moved for what ever reason SW thought up... I stopped having my foster kids in sports after 3 of them were unexpectantly moved to drug addicted bio grandma, after being with me for 14 months (kids whose plan has switch to adoption) because then the team had to fold as 1/3 of it was gone...

so, it is a mixed bag...

I think sometimes when foster parents aren't stepping up, then maybe that is a good time for the teacher to fill in the gap...

Permalink 11/01/07 @ 18:27

Comment from: ulanna [Member]

I am new to this kind of thing. I have 3 foster children that we are in the process of adopting and we are having some issues with school. A friend of mine which tutors the kids suggested that I get on blogs and start talking to other foster/adoptive parents. The problem I am having is my foster daughter's teacher wants to treat her different. She is in special ed. that teacher is great but her home room teacher is not so great. How should I handle how she treats her? I had this problem last year and I went and talked to the Principal which he done nothing about and it only made things for my daughter worse. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Permalink 01/14/08 @ 16:06

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