I will be addressing statements (below is the first one) that have been left in comments on a few of my blogs.
“foster parent” goodie, two-shoe roles as the “resucer”, the “if it wasn’t for me”, or “I saved you from the abuse of your parent(s)”, attention seeking, control needing, “look at me”, requiring people in this sad world
It’s all about “ME”, meaning, the person, that gets what he/she wants. In this case, becoming, “recusers”, for poor little amy or john. You all are just as selfish as a parent that do not get their self as you say “together”.
Foster parents do not hope for more children to come into the foster care system to benefit themselves or anybody else. Truthfully, most foster parents feel just the opposite. I would love to get a call saying Lanette we will be closing your foster home due to the decrease of children coming into foster care. Which I would think a lot more foster parents would feel this same way.
Foster parents also do not do it because they want to be a savior to anyone or for the attention. We provide care for children in need and give them a safe loving home until their parents can take care of their issues so the children can return home. Being a foster parent is the farthest thing away from being about ourselves and being selfish in anyway.
Have no right to judge, the parent of a child that we “Foster parents” would even consider raising as our own
As an adoptive parent to children that I once fostered and see them trying to live, deal with, and continue suffering because of the choices that the birth parents made by their abuse and neglect it does give me the right to speak up. These children did not deserve what has been done to them.
Open a place to keep the family together. Their is a place to keep the family separated, “women’s shelter’s (domestic violence), child-care shelters (child abuse, neglect). Open one to keep the family stability, then decide if a parent want to be a parent? Especially, when in this system, “No one is keeping up with the keepers”. Foster parents, and their surroundings of family and outside friends. Check the checker the way the parent is checked.
Keeping the abuser with the ones they are abusing does not even begin to address the problem or needs of the children. Domestic violence can be men or women and in most cases if the parent is willing to remove themselves with the children to a safe place then the children are not removed. Should we place all abusers including sexual predators together with their children? I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of abuse would go on in a place like this. Would we also be footing the bill while the abuse continued?
Placing children that are removed due to abuse or neglect in shelters seems cruel. I have known foster teens that have been placed in shelters. There, they suffered more abuse by other foster teens (back in the day, children were allowed to stay longer so this was done more often). These shelters are crowded with foster teens and at night, staff is limited when a lot of the abuse takes place. Foster homes keeps children out of the shelters and safe.
Who is checking and constantly monitoring the foster parents? That would be child welfare on a monthly basis and we also answer to the court. Yes, a few bad foster parents do go without being monitored and some do hurt the same children they are suppose to be protecting. All foster parents are not anything like this. We can find bad in every aspect of life.