Foster Parenting, Foster Child, Foster Care Blog - Foster Children Losing Time, Their Childhood and a Chance

11/26/07

Foster Children Losing Time, Their Childhood and a Chance

Posted by : Lanette in Foster Care Blog at 10:39 pm , 394 words, 701 views
Categories: Foster Care

A hot topic in the foster care circle is how long foster children are left to live in limbo with the hope their parents can get themselves together so they are able to parent their children. I think most of us can agree that a large number of issues (drugs, violence, relationships, mental issues, poverty, etc.) that these biological parents are facing, do not disappear overnight. But do we have the right to ask young children needing a family, structure, security, etc. to wait months and even years in the hopes that their biological parents will step up to the plate and do what is needed to get them back?

You can read here about a biological mother that was given 2½ years to work her plan to get her four children back but every time the court date rolled around she asked for more time. This is not an uncommon occurrence in foster care, but something that happens all too often. Sadly the children are the ones that end up paying the price. More and more foster children are finding themselves living in long term foster care.

SPONSOR

Some of these foster children spend their time trying to keep people at arm’s lengths and not allowing themselves to openly form attachments in the hopes of returning to their biological parents. When the truth is if the time limit that was imposed by the federal Adoption and Safe Families Act it could help move these children on to a permanent home. We see more children having behavior problems and difficulties as they get older whether they are adopted or left to live in the foster care system. This should not be a big surprise to us. Children cannot form or develop healthy attachments, social acceptance, mental stability, self image, and love for themselves or others when they are not given the basic things that other children grow up with.

How long is too long for a foster child to live in limbo hoping for a future with their biological parents? By continually extending the time for a possible reunion even when it is not realistic goal damaging the child more? These are questions that I will be addressing in the near future.

More Reading:

National Adoption Month Celebrating With a Giveaway

Foster Children and Holidays

Love Thursday: The Children That Have Gone On

Photo Credit

4 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: MamaS [Member]

My a-son's parents were given 6 months, then 12 months, then another 12 months. They were told to do 5 things: Get jobs, Open a bank account, get driver's licenses back, attend parenting classes and attend AA or NA meetings. At the end of this time, neither one of them had completed even one of these five requirements. (They had been jailed several times for possession of drugs and driving without a license during this time period.) They were TPR'd and he was adopted at age 4.
One year AFTER TPR, his mother has a driving license and his father has a job and attends AA regularly. The parents are no longer together.
Should the court have left him in foster care? At this rate in three years or so his father may have completed the plan. Should he have from 18 months until 8 years of his son's life to "get it together"?

Permalink 11/27/07 @ 01:39

Comment from: Kansas Girl [Member]

What really needs to change right now is that along with the birth parents' plans to improve their lives, plans to address the child's developmental and emotional issues should be drafted as soon as the children enter foster care - foster parents should be required to follow this plan so that none of the child's precious time in terms of development (especially with the brain) is lost. The child’s time in foster care needs to be productive time, so if parents who are working their reunification plan need more time, the child hasn’t lost anything in the process. Too many times the child is just "parked" in foster care “waiting” for reunification or TPR, plus they’re expected to function as a normal kid - not enough foster parents are willing to do what it takes to make sure the children in their care are given every opportunity to flourish.

Our son spent six years in foster care – these six years were far more damaging to him than the three years he was in his birth home. Had his issues (emotional and sensory) been addressed when he entered care and had he not been abused in foster care, he wouldn’t be facing the huge emotional issues (RAD) he faces now at age 15 (almost 16). He's a very bright kid with a great personality - it's a tragedy to see him handicapped by emotional issues created by the system.

Permalink 11/27/07 @ 07:14

Comment from: Chromesthesia [Member]

The system needs to be reformed. That's all there is to it. It needs to be reformed right now.
I want to push for that to be done, and the prison system and the education system because they relate.
Not that every child in foster care becomes a criminal, but there's so many that end up in the prison system and that's not the way it should be done.
This has to start now....

Permalink 11/27/07 @ 18:33

Comment from: John [Member]

Kansa Girl, six years? There is no way that foster care is the same as an adoptive home or the original home. The child knows it is about temporary. The bad guys are the judges and agencies that let your son be stuck in foster care for six years,and the birth parents that wouldn't get their act together. That was terrible for the child. There is no way the child should have his childhood truncated for two or three years for mom or dad to get their act together, certainly not six years. John

Permalink 11/27/07 @ 19:01

Leave a Comment: You need to login to leave comments.:

Login | Register