Well what needs to happen is that the Department need not give the bio parents the say so. Cause like in my case the mother and father were on drugs and neglectful of their children. I called DCF removed and of course my sis and her husband were very ANGRY with me and refused to allow the children to be placed with me. I beged and no one cared. Two of the children have lived with me in the past because of DCF removal. I tried again after 6 mons and was refused. Tried again a year later when it became obvious that my sis was not going to comply to drug rehab and social worker refused me again cause my sis said no. TPR a year later I was in nursing school only workin part time 10 hours week. Did home study and was turned down MIND YOU by the very same people that kept telling me no. ON the grounds that I would have 5 small children in the home with one care taker (was in the middle of getting back together with exhusband of seven years) who has to work and would not be able to adequately devote her tome and attention between five small children who need INDIVIDUALIZED care. BUT the are currently placed in a foster home that has only ONE care taker and she is 69 years old and has 8 small (6yrs -2yrs) children living in the home. HONESTLY do they think that a 69 yr old can provide anymore INDIVIDUALIZED care and attention to eight children vs 26 yr old aunt proving LOVE AND A NORMAL HOME LIFE and attention for just five? Well DCF never gave me a written copy of the unfavorable home study and did not know of my right to an appeal of the home study. I am now a LPN (nurse) remarried to my husband and could never be more happy BUT am still fightin the system The foster mother has an abuse report that has been closed with SOME indicators of abuse on my nephew (he reported that she pinches his cheeks as a form of punishment (FYI he and my niece have scars on both cheeks where she has pinched them soo hard it drew blood. DCF REFUSES to remove the children She was questioned in court as to IF SHE HAD EVER SMACKED CHILD? Her exact response was (FYI I have court transcripts) "I dont know. I really couldn't --- honest to GOD, I dont want to. If I did I dont remember." That was said in front of GAL, DCF, lawyers, and the JUDGE along with many other things that were very concering about how she takes care of the foster children. AND DONT YOU KNOW IT THAT NOT ONE PERSON INVESTIGATE THAT AND THAT WAS HER OWN STATEMENT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. So I guess that if you are being questioned about abouse all you have to say is that you dont REMEMBER AND hey thats good enough for them. We lost that case and after 3.5 years and $10,000 later we are no closer to getting custody now then we were before except We have an approved home study now and CHS (childrens home society) and has been matched with the children for adoptand BUT GAL apposed and is fighting the case for her for free it breaks my heart. Also its not like I live in another state I live in the very same town in which they do I see them each and every day at school and the foster mother has refused from the being to let me be involved. If you would like more details about this you can email me at dede4583@yahoo. cause it goes deeper and shows misconduct of the GAL and more.

Our daughter was with us for 2 1/2 years and was in care for 6 months before that before we got to termination... and a grandfather who had never called her, sent her a note or anything was all of a sudden interested. All it did was hurt the child, leaving her in limbo for another year.