February 25th, 2008
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Foster children growing up fast is a part of their reality. The life that most of these children have been forced to live has placed them into the adult role and a lot of cases the care giver to siblings and at times, biological parents. It is hard to imagine living day in and day out with the pain and hardship that these children have lived most of their lives with.

There is no choice when your are the oldest and there is no food in the house for your younger siblings. The child then becomes the provider by stealing food or any other means to care for their siblings.

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You can look into some of these foster children’s eyes and see the experience and wisdom that you should only see in adults. It is heartbreaking to see young children already living and learning the hard lessons of an adult life.

The reason I am talking about this is because it changes them. You cannot go back and undo what these foster children have lost. Some foster children can learn to adjust to being a child with a childhood but it does not happen overnight. Sadly some foster children are unable to release the control of being the adult and leaving them unable to experience being a child.

This can effect how you parent foster children and other children in your home. This is something that I did not fully understand until I became a foster parent and then it took me some time to figure out how to work through it for my foster children and myself. With every foster child it will be different so, it is a learn as you go experience We learn just as much from our foster children as they learn from us. Foster parents do not have all the answers to parenting challenging. We will make mistakes along the road but hopefully this helps make us better foster parents.

I will share some of my experiences parenting children that have been the care givers and adults in their lives.

More reading:

Foster Children Losing Time, Their Childhood and a Chance

Understanding Foster Children’s Need for Survival Skills
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2 Responses to “Foster Children Growing Up To Fast”

  1. jewels1967 says:

    I am a first time foster mother ..but I have only fostered infants. My heart goes out to you and the grown children that have been forced to grow up way too early in life. I have had my foster son since he was 3 months old ( I was his second placement, because the first placement was told this may be a long term endevour). I also have a 20 month old son that I have already adopted, who came into my home the very same day as our 23 month old, they have grown up together and both call us mommy and daddy. The visits with his biological parents have been on again/off again . Yet, everytime the biological parents see him (sometimes they go months without showing up to the visits) they call eachother mommy and daddy. It just tears me apart to think of what effects this may have on him as he gets older. No matter what the outcome. I just wish someone that has the authority to do so, would look at the case histories in cases such as these and learn from them. There is no good reason, no positive outcome when a child is old enough to know there are two sets of families in the picture, that for whatever the reason, they were taken away from the biological parent’s home 2 or 3 years ago and they are being forced to leave the people who they’ve come to know as mommy and daddy. My feeling is that Whatever the reason the children were not placed with the biological parents to begin with, the issues shall be dealt with, one way or the other within the first year and the child should either get to go home or parental rights should be terminated within that first year, so that the child does not have to go through that.

  2. lease to own 18 wheeler trucks…

    Foster Children Growing Up To Fast – Foster Care…

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