Coming off the holiday highs can be especially hard for foster children. While they are feeling the same letdowns as the rest of us, and then add all the emotions that come along with foster care, it can be very overwhelming.

Foster children can be feeling a lot of guilt during this time. They are still thinking of their biological family, and during the holidays, probably more so. Some children feel guilty because they know that things are rough back with their biological families and a lot do not have the Christmas like they are experiencing in foster care. Most of the children that I have fostered have felt incredibly guilty when they have a good time because they know that is not the case for their biological families.

I had one foster daughter that said, “I am so glad to be with here at Christmas time.” In her eyes there was such a deep sadness and right after saying that big tears spilled out of her eyes. I asked her, “What is making you cry and so sad?” She responded, “I know that things are not like this at my mom’s house. I feel bad that I like it here and that I am having fun because my mom doesn’t get to do or feel any of this. I want her to have this too.” I will talk about how I deal and talk with foster children when these feelings arise in the next post since it can come up not just during the holidays.

So the joy and excitement that foster children can feel during the holidays is bittersweet to them. Children that I have fostered during the holidays had their emotions all over the board which does cause them to be more moody and also can lead to more acting out.

Some foster children want to, and are able to talk about their feelings which can be helpful while other children cannot. For children that are unable to talk about their feelings and issues that they have dealt with during the holidays it could be a good time to schedule a couple of extra therapy sessions.

More reading:

Telling Foster Children That Your Home Is Not a Permanent Placement

Questioning the Idea of a Placement Becoming Permanent for Your Family

Reasons Why It May Not Work as a Permanent Placement

Talking with Your Foster Child why it cannot be Permanent

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