Foster Parenting, Foster Child, Foster Care Blog

10/22/07

Foster Children at Halloween

Posted by : Lanette in Foster Care Blog at 09:59 pm , 441 words, 190 views
Categories: Holidays

This can be quite a mix for dealing with behaviors. A large number of foster children do not have the traditional Halloween with customs, pumpkins, and trick or treat. Young foster children that I have parented were very confused, scared and unsure of everything. While I think they somewhat enjoyed the experience but they were withdrawal and quite.

A few children only went to a few houses to trick or treat then went home with me to hand out candy while my husband took the other ones on. The realty is that some children have great difficulties with the whole experience and it may be too much for them to handle. So, if you have a child that has major behaviors with the tendencies to runaway or melt down when things get a little hectic, then you may only want to take him to a few friends’ houses.

I have received flax from people that do not understand that for a child Halloween maybe too much or he could place other children in danger. It is up to the foster parent to do what is best for the foster child.

SPONSOR

Older foster children I have experienced Halloween with think it is about getting in trouble with playing jokes on others and scaring the little children. The older ones that I have parented did not have supervision at Halloween so they did what they wanted.

Here is the major a problem that I ran into with Halloween and the whole candy business: These children get all of this candy in their bag which means in their eyes it is their candy. In my house no one eats any candy until I go through it all and then it is placed into a large Halloween bowl. The children are able to have a couple of pieces of candy with permission but all the candies are placed together. My little secret is that I also throw out some of the candy a little at a time, things they do not like too much to help do away with the mound of candy and sugar highs that come with it. Every one of my foster children they struggled with this rule. One little guy attacked me when he thought I was taking his candy. It is their candy they feel like they earned and do not want to give it up easy.

You will also need to find a safe and secure place to keep the bowl of Halloween candy or you will find it disappearing fast along with wrappers hidden everywhere.

More reading:

Autumn and the Effects on Foster Care

Foster Children without Childhoods

6 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: bob [Member]

Wow, you'd think a holiday would be a happy time.

Permalink 10/22/07 @ 22:35

Comment from: Kansas Girl [Member]

our AS came to live with us at age nine... we didn't do anything the first Halloween, but the next year he was allowed to go trick or treating...he had never been trick or treating in his life, even after six years in foster care! He was totally scared to do it, even with me there.

Permalink 10/23/07 @ 06:36

Comment from: fixchildrensaid [Member]

Wow, quite the concept you've got going.

Allow the children to go trick or treating; allow them to believe that what they have gathered is theirs; then deviously take the candies away from them... albeit not very subtly since even a "little guy" figured you out when he "thought" you were taking candies from him. Guess what? The little cutie didn't just "think" you were taking is candies; he knew that you were, just as you admitted was your practice.

Perhaps you could try being HONEST with the children and tell them that all of the candy remains theirs, but that you will be governing how quickly they get to consume it.

You will very likely find that, once you develop the habit of being honest with the little kiddies, they will stop trying to give you a beat-down for lying to them.

Permalink 10/31/07 @ 16:51

Comment from: Lanette [Member]

· http://foster-care.adoptionblogs.com/

fixchildrensaid,

I am honest when I explain things to any of my children. There were not talk of lies in this post, please re-read.

Sorry I do not know any parents that let their children have their candy to keep themselves, to eat as much as they want, when they want.

Lanette

Permalink 11/04/07 @ 20:24

Comment from: bob [Member]

Maybe you could just write the name on the kids candy bag or bucket, and keep it out of reach. At least the kid could pick something out of their own bag when they can have some, still having the sense of it belonging to them and avoiding having it seem to be taken away from them.

Moderation is a good thing, but so is something that a child thinks belongs to them. That's what I do. Often times the candy will last right up to Christmas at which time we chuck whatever's left, but it's still theirs.

Permalink 11/06/07 @ 07:09

Comment from: AngelaW [Member]

Lanette, I let my darling daughter keep all her Halloween candy, eat as much as she wants, when she wants. And I typically do have to throw away old Halloween candy in December. She nevers eats all the candy that she collects.

My darling is very concrete minded and very strong willed. (various special needs)

So I use Love & Logic (natural consequences) with her. One Halloween (I think she was 5 years old), I let her eat as much candy as she wanted. She didn't feel very good the next day. And that was the last time she gorged on candy.

I am not trying to claim what you are doing is wrong...

But you mentioned not knowing anyone who did "on demand" feeding, so I decided to comment. Now you know one. ;)

Permalink 11/06/07 @ 14:43

Leave a Comment: You need to login to leave comments.:

Login | Register