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Foster children may be very reluctant to get in involved with your family holiday traditions. Most likely it is because they do not know what to do or how to do it. Baking cookies and decorating cookies can seem so foreign to them. I have fostered autistic, mentally retarded and delayed children, so I have found that making them interact works well. You may have to do hand over hand a few times, then before you know it they are fully involved. They can be so scared to try things and some would never try news things without having to be made to.
Most of these children have spent their lives watching others, just living in the shadows. The simple thing of making Christmas cards can seem to the child as a huge ordeal for them. A lot of these children would feel content with staying in the shadows instead of stepping out to experience something that may be fun. I have not had one child yet that didn’t enjoy the activity they had to be made to do in the beginning.
I know this can cause you a little more trouble and time. It will truly be worth it for the child. We have to teach them to experience new things and how to have fun being a child. I am not saying to make a child decorate a cookie, if they are screaming or crying. A lot of children may need the reassurance of you doing hand over hand. They know that what they are doing is okay and they will not get into trouble. They may also need the assurance of your hands, words and guidance to know that they will be okay. Slowly as they relax, you pull back and they are doing it independently. Remember that most likely you will be the first person teaching the child about Christmas.
One of the big traditions in our family is that on Christmas Eve everyone sleeping at our house will open one present. Everyone will have a pair of pajamas to change into for our Christmas Eve celebration. Yes, some think this is silly (as my sister felt in the past but now enjoys it). My children love it and can not wait to open their gift. Foster child have thought this was a little strange but come out smiling from ear to ear wearing their new pajamas.
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Albert Einstein
