In a the blog “Who Pays the Price?” a question was brought up having empathy and understanding for the birth or biological parents that have children in foster care or lost them to the system. The reality of what these children have endured is a lot to deal with for them and the foster parents.

I think there is a difference in empathy for the birth parents and disliking them, than the reality of some foster children’s lives, abuse, lack of concern, abandonment, etc. I believe most foster parents have empathy for the biological parents even when these same people do not show their own children empathy. These children will live with a life long impact to their lives because of choices made by an adult. Adults make the choices and a lot of children suffer the consequences.

The foster toddler that we are in the process of adopting was supposed to be a short term placement. Family members were going to provide care but kept changing their mind. So a couple of weeks turned into two months (she was 2 months old when placed with us) during this time. One minute they wanted her, next minute they did not want to care for her. This was a defenseless infant and her family was treating her like a possession or a new puppy.

The goal was for the biological mother to get it together so the baby girl could return to her. I hoped she would be successful. I would try and keep her updated on her daughter’s development, doctor’s appointments and daily happenings in her life. After a few months of her and the biological father continually fighting with each other, spending more time bad mouthing each other to the worker, etc instead of spending time getting to know their infant daughter I realized she was not a priority to them.

Continued......Foster Care: Empathy and Reality - Coping

More reading:

Effects of A Mother's Choices

Is Parenting a Right or a Privilege?

How Many Second Chances?