I have found that I do not play well with others. This may come as a surprise to some of you who know me. I appear to be the one who has the world by the tail. That is true- to a point. I do enjoy life and the people that I am walking with every day. I see no other way to live. Yet, there are hard times. Life is tricky. It is difficult to maneuver. The children in my home can wear me out. They are a constant drain on my emotions. I work harder keeping this family afloat then I have ever worked at anything. That is why I do not play well with others. When I get time to do whatever I want- I want to be by myself. Isn’t that terrible?
I love to go to the movies by myself. Shop by myself. Eat by myself. Are you catching my theme?
So how does someone who invests their life into the lives of others find that time to rejuvenate? I have found that my patience is increased greatly when I am good to myself. I value my place in this family. I do not do this to the point that it is a negative for my family but I do try to remember that my happiness rubs off onto the children in my care. Have you ever noticed that when you talk to someone who is a downer- you become negative? I have. I am guilty of bringing bad attitudes into situations that do not warrant them. It is not fair to anyone- myself included. That is why I give myself the leeway for being human. If I am happier spending time alone sometimes, then it is worth it.
As I said before, children take work and foster children take even more work. Yet, they are worth the effort. Every child deserves a chance to live in a stable, solid home with a parent or parents that know what they need and are able to meet their needs outside of the parent/child relationship. There is no reason to expect that a child in your care will take care of you. It is not their responsibility and they lack the maturity to do it correctly. They will let you down when your expectations are above their ability.
Take the time to figure out what makes you tick. If it is getting out with friends periodically- do it. If it is going for a brisk walk- do it. Whatever brings that feeling of rest into your heart is worth the hour spent.