Continued

Not all children will react this way. You will have to find things that will work for your children.
I had one foster daughter after visits, she wanted to sit and talk with me alone without the other children. She was the only one I had this way. She wanted love, nurturing, cuddling time after her visit.

I have learned to give the child time to their self without having them doing the typical child stuff homework, bath, chores, etc.. Allowing the child to come out when they are ready is what seemed to work. Let the teacher know what is going on, meaning that on Tuesdays, Johnny has visits with his bio family, this is very difficult for him. After his visit he has a lot of emotions to deal with, and may need to do his homework the following day. I have not had a teacher (yet:) ) to have a problem with this. In most cases in time the child’s time spent alone and not doing their responsibilities will slowly be reduced. Not meaning they do not have issues dealing with it but are learning to cope with their life. Believe me, I am amazed with what some of these children deal with every time they have a visit with bio families. I do not how I would deal with what they face every week.

Take the time to observe your foster child. Come up with ways to benefit or help with their struggles with their bio visits. Instead of getting caught up in their anger and behaviors, I try to think how I would react to their situation that they live daily. It is so easy to focus on their angry and behavior, not see the pain they are dealing with. It becomes quite the balancing act for you as the foster parent because you also cannot over look their negative behaviors. We have to teach them ways to cope but we also have to choose the right time to teach these children.

Remember with basic children the behaviors should not be as intense ( does not mean this will always be the case but for the biggest part). We do therapeutic foster care, the 8year old little girl is one of these children. So most likely if you are fostering basic children they should not be as damaged as some of the children that come through our home..

“The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.”
Ivy Baker Priest