This is a difficult area for everyone. I wrote another article about the bio visits.
I do understand that there may be children that do not have problems with their bio visits but for the most part foster children really struggle with this.

Some child get tense, moody, agitated, etc. the day before the visit, the day or the visit and the will also have issues after the visits. You will be able to pick up fairly quickly what is going on with your foster children and try to things or ways to less the stress. I found out really quickly that things seem to escalate soon after a visit, and I found myself doing more restraints at this time. I learned that a child may need to vent after their visit, just as we adults do after a bad day. The problem is that a lot of foster children do not know how to vent without cussing, screaming, throwing things, picking at other children, being destructive ,etc.. I had to learned that in most cases I could not control the foster child’s emotions and the way he/she vents. I did find that I could lessen the drama and ease their negative venting.

I had an 8 year old foster daughter that had weekly two hours visits. She had major problems (she did all things listed above) the day of the bio visit which was Friday, this would continue until midday on Sunday. As you can imagine weekends were hell with her. One of the things she would do was repeatedly call me and refer to me as “B**ch” to and in front of my children. Within a hour a coming hour from her visit she would start a verbal fight (leading to physical).


Continued...............

Remember with basic children the behaviors should not be as intense ( does not mean this will always be the case but for the biggest part). We do therapeutic foster care, the 8 year old little girl is one of these children. So most likely if you are fostering basic children they should not be as damaged as some of the children that come through our home.

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."
Henri Bergson