Continued...........

I personally have done pretty well with caseworkers when things get a little dicey with the bio parents. Most caseworkers know what is going on with the bio parents and they just let them vent without taking what they say seriously.

There will be things that you will have to let go of just to get along. Do not send things even clothing to visits that you will be upset if they do not return in it or with it. Diaper bags are a big thing with me. In the beginning I would send my personal nice diaper bag full of things (even for my other children). This was a big mistake on my part. I lost two nice diaper bags and endless supplies out of them.. So, now I have a one cheap plastic one (Funny thing is I have not lost this one:) ) with two diapers, one old bib, baby wipes in a Ziploc, and a cheap bottle or juice cup. I had one caseworker that wanted to know why I did not use the diaper bag mom brought. I explained I used the same bag for every child, it was easier on me and then I do not have to worry about something happening to their bag and hearing about it. I had parents that would send clothing that was too small or big for the child but then want to know why they did not wear it for visits. If the clothing fits the child wears it (sometimes), I personally do not have the time to worry what clothing the bio parents sends. In my experience this is pretty rare. I do not get much of anything from the bio parents.

If a caseworker is going to allow a bio parent to have say over every little thing that happens concerning their child, I personally do not have to put up with it. I have stated to caseworkers before that if this is going to be the case then they need to look for a different placement. The funny thing is that I have not had a child moved because I stood up for myself. I know this may not be right for everyone but for one it is.

There are exceptions to this, meaning not very bio parent is like this, there are some that have just made some mistakes, need help to get back on their feet and truly want to do right by their children. Sadly, you just do not see this a lot as a foster parent.


“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe