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Four times as many girls as boys self-harm up to age 16. A study conducted in 2002 found that one out of every 200 teen girls regularly self-harm themselves.

These children are dealing with pain that they feel that they are unable to deal with and by self-harming releases some of the pain. The pain never goes away, so they feel the need to self–harm when the pain feels overwhelming to them. These children feel like they are unable to express or verbalize the inner turmoil that they are feeling. These children are feeling anger, despair, hopelessness, isolate, confused, shame, and guilt. When you are dealing with a child that is self-harming, this may be their only way to communicate to you their pain that they are feeling.

Memories of abuse or trauma, witnessing domestic violence, and problems at home or school can be the trigger for children that self-harm.

This can be very overwhelming to a foster parent that was not had training in this area or even realizes that children do these things to themselves. I was familiar with self-harming when we realized that our teenage foster son was harming himself but did not see the behavior for what it was in the beginning. I was shocked that it was happening in my home and I did not see as self-harming.

The key is to address the underlying cause of this behavior before things can get better. Medication can help if there are mental health or behavioral issues to deal with such as severe anxiety, depression, or impulsivity. Therapy can help the child uncover the causes of their behavior and help the child find a health way to voice their feelings. You can also talk with the therapist about ways you can help your foster child.


Click here to get more information about self-harming behaviors.

To read about self-harming behaviors in babies or young children click here.