I am sitting in the dark blogging while the rain falls outside. This is my favorite way to unwind after a long day. That and we sure need the rain (this coming from a farmer’s wife.) I love to sit with my little family and revel in the warmth of my beautiful comfortable home- I am blessed.
My dream is that every child can experience lazy, rainy, comfortable nights. There is something about snuggling with a daddy on the sofa that makes life okay. The safety and stability that comes from the intimate family moments is the reason that foster care is successful in rebuilding a child’s life. I have seen children who have learned how to love again by the power of a strong family unit. I do think that family strength is the key. If a family unit is broken or crumbling, adding a child who has needs can be the straw that breaks the cord. A child who has been placed into foster care does not need the added stress of another dysfunctional family.
How do you, as a foster parent, keep stability and safety alive for your children? First, think through all that you desire for your family- in every area. Maybe things are disorganized and confused, do your best to bring in some organization and thoroughness. Make small changes everyday until you reach your goal.
Second, give yourself the respect to have valid feeling and emotions. Deal with them in an adult manner and move forward. Too much time spent on the emotional aspect of relationships can allow bitterness and anger to seep in. This is not healthy.
Third, give of yourself. I know that this is difficult and not very popular. Yet, it is the foster parents whom give the most that are successful. They have learned the ultimate lesson of sacrifice and how it offers strength in itself. Does that sound crazy? I suppose it is a little radical but I know that it works. Living within the realm of service to others can be rigorous and demanding but the payback in the lives of children is immeasurable.
Fourth and most important is to love. This is not a trite part of life- it is life. Love is the hardest thing to offer a fsoter child but the thing they need the most. It is hard to imagine a life lived without love. it simply would be void of all that is good and right.To truly love those in your life all of the first three areas of your relationship and life must be in order.
Set about making changes in life that will bring about the stability you desire for every child in your family. You will benefit as much as they do.