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I’ve often wondered what makes a great foster parent. Because I generally hear about awful fostering experiences, I thought it was important to compile a list of attributes that I personally think make a fantastic foster parent. While I’m sure the list could go on-and-on, here are the top five attributes that make a foster parent a great foster parent:
Patience: This is an important attribute for all parents. The truth of the matter is that it isn’t easy raising and rearing children. They are going to do stupid things. They’re going to talk back to you. They are going to make mistakes–both large and small. It may take quite a while to get them into the habit of cleaning their room, washing their own dishes, or folding their laundry. That’s why it is important to have patience. You have to let them learn for themselves sometimes, and that can take a lot of parental restraint.
Empathy: Some foster children come from tough backgrounds and sad beginnings. Be empathetic. Make the effort to understand what they’ve been through and where they currently are–mentally and emotionally. Possessing empathy is generally considered a natural trait. It makes it possible to feel another person’s pain and fear, their joy and happiness–rather than just feeling sorry for someone or happy for someone. I guess the main difference between empathy and sympathy, as I see it, is feeling something WITH someone and feeling something FOR someone.
Understanding: This can be closely related to empathy, but not necessarily. Be understanding of their life experiences thus far. Try and understand that they may have trust or anger issues. Take the time to talk to them about these things. This shows that you have the desire and need to understand them. Vocalize that desire directly to them.
Dedication: Parenting and foster parenting require ample dedication. It is hard work. As a foster parent, you should be dedicated to providing a safe and respectable home for your child. Dedicate yourself to them and their needs. Don’t give up.
Loving: And, of course, I chose this attribute to finish off the list. Be loving. Vocalize that love. Show that love. To me, love also translates into kindness, self-respect, and respect for others. These are tell-tale signs that you are a loving person.
