This is for the children that do not have a voice. The ones that drugs were their beginning.

When you abused your body and mind, you also did it to me. While you created me, you were also destroying parts of me. As you carried me in your womb, you left me scarred and battered by your negative choices.

As you went on that high of “meth” time and time again, my tiny developing body was forced to go along. Each time you got “high” part of me was destroyed and not allowed to develop. The “meth” affected whatever was developing at the time of your “highs”; my brain, my organs, my nervous system.

As you received pleasure from your “high”, my little body was shaking, jerking about, my nervous system was being fried. The “high” I had to endure lasted twice as long as yours and before I knew what was happening, your were taking more “meth”. What happened to the lullabies you were suppose to sing to me?

During my whole exsistence in your womb, I endured the highs from you taking “meth”. When you laid your hand on your swollen pregnant stomach, you felt me kicking for a chance at life, the child you are suppose to love.

My first months were spent trying to live without the drugs that you placed into my little body. My body could not understand what has happened. I was shaking, jerking, muscles twitching, I could not sleep. I cried so much for the pain my little body was in, the pain that you had done this to me and the pain of all my losses.

Your choices to do “meth” while I was in your womb will impact my developing, my choices for the future, it will continue to have a lasting impact on every area of my life for the rest of my life. I am hyper -sensitive to touch, sounds, and smells. I have problems with my emotions, I cannot sleep, and so much more.

I have met with genetic doctors, developmental pediatricians, therapists, and others telling me what my adopted and foster child exposed to “meth” has dealt with, and the possible struggles she'll face in the future. This is heartbreaking as a mother to see a child scarred by her biological mother without a thought of the pain placed on the child. Drug abuse has become so common that I think we forget the trauma that drug babies suffer. For many it will last a life time.

Can we really say these biological mothers deserve to have time to get their act together, which can take a long time? Is this abuse to the baby? Has the biological mother already done enough harm to the baby or should she get the chance to add neglect on top of it?

More reading:

Drugs and Foster Care

Not Enabling

Heredity > Substance Abuse > Environment > Special Needs