Dealing with a foster child that has abused a member of your family can be difficult and on top of that, trying to find the help for your foster child. Sometimes the help that the mentally ill needs ends up being long term treatment. This can be hard reality for everyone to come to terms with and understand.

The foster parents called their agency to explain what had happened, they were concerned that they would be unable find respite care of the boy on Christmas Eve. The foster mother explained that they would have Christmas with their foster son and would need placement the day after. Another safety plan was put in place to protect their daughter, their foster son was not allowed out of his room without supervision, all cleaning had been removed from cabinets and locked up, a family member would be with their daughter all the time and if things got worse they made plans for their daughter to stay with a family member. They did not want their foster son to lose the memory of the first real Christmas he had ever been part of and the family needed to have some kind of closure.

The foster parents took their foster son to emergency respite until the CPS could get him treatment. To walk away and leave the son that they had hoped to call their own was heartbreaking for the couple. They knew it was the right thing and it was the only way their daughter would heal or feel safe again. The family was grieving the loss of their son and brother. They talked as a family about continuing foster care or stopping, their daughter wanted to continue fostering but she did not want children that would hurt her and no older boys.

A few days later the foster parents were called by the agency. Their foster son was going to be hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital and they were worried that he would flip out on them. They believed that he would be calm and not aggressive with people that loved him, and we were the only people that he had that loved him. So, they asked us to be the ones to take him to the hospital and explain to him what was going to happen. As a mother she wanted to help the son she loved but the thought of this was so difficult. They did take their foster son to the hospital and explain things to him. One minute he was telling his foster mother he was sorry he tried to hurt her and sister. The next was talking about the voices telling him to kill.

The doctor talked with the foster parents and evaluated the child and came to the conclusion that he had a psychotic break. The doctors did tell the parents that it was possible for their foster son to never completely recover from his break and that he would need intensive psychotic care for awhile.

The foster son asked his mother if she would come visit him and could he call her. She said, “Yes.” The mother wanted him to get the help he so desperately needed. The foster mother remained in contact with his birth grandmother that lived several thousand miles away and had to explain what had happened. The foster child had to be placed in a long term locked facility.

Mental illness crippled this young boy to the point, that his mind and body are not his own any longer. He was unable to deal with the voices and know what reality was. The boy the foster family came to know and love was lost within himself.

The foster family carries the love for their lost son and the scars that mental illness brought to their lives. The foster family learned valuable insight and the long term effects of mental illness.

This is an extreme case of abuse by a foster child. Most abuse will not be to this degree or intensity. It is more common for the abuse to be hitting, fighting, biting, and you may see some foster children sexually acting out.

Related posts:

Abuse by a Foster Child

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Beginning of Abuse

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Reality

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Pain

Abuse by a Foster Child: Breaking Hearts