A foster family finding their way through their grief, broken hearts and trying to understand how a child they loved could want to harm them. Facing the hard truths and facts of abuse as a family and trying to make sense of what has happened. Learning how mental illness affects the entire family.

The thoughts are racing through their heads. Their greatest fear was what they allowed to happen to their daughter and would she have long term damage. Their daughter still wanted to go out to eat for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner, so they decided to go along with their plans. During the ride in the car, the mother was struggling to understand how a child that she loved would want to harm her daughter and herself. The mother asked her foster son, “Do you know now what your actions could have done? Why would you put poison on our toothpaste? What were you thinking?” Her foster son responded, “I wanted to kill you and sister.” The mother seeing her daughter’s face in the mirror with the most unimaginable pain on it was too much to bear. She did not expect an answer to her questions and surely not one so horrible. She felt like she was going to be sick, so she parked the car and got out. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces for the son she loved and planned to adopt and for the danger and horrific pain that she had placed her daughter in. One can only imagine how their Christmas Eve dinner was. They celebrated Christmas the following day as their last time as a family.

In a matter of minutes a family, lives and a sense of safety vanished into a sea of pain. The tears filled their daughter’s eyes; the pain was so hard for her to understand. She kept saying but I loved him and he was my brother. Why did he want to kill me? Her parents explained that he was suffering from a mental illness and that the illness made him into a person they did not know.

Mental illness affects the entire family, not just the person suffering with the illness. It can devastate a family if the person does not seek help. The truth is that it is not always easy to find help or get the answers to the questions that arise when people are faced with mental illness. Most mental illnesses are a lifetime of struggling with an illness that is considered taboo by the public. A person struggling with mental illness needs a strong support system and great medical care. Most people that are affected with mental illness can go on to live a happy productive life.

Related posts:

Abuse by a Foster Child

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Beginning of Abuse

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Reality

Abuse by a Foster Child: The Pain