I have heard that I do not understand the term, a mother’s love, being used when I have talked about biological mothers abusing or neglecting their children. As a foster parent, I do get this thrown in my face quite a lot from biological families and others. Is the abuse that foster children suffer in the name of a mother’s love?

A child beaten to the point of breaking bones

An 8 month old baby accidentally ingested meth and other drugs

A 21 month old baby battered and beaten to death by two men in mom’s life

Children being left home alone for days to care for themselves

Children living in drug environments with violence, abuse (including sexual), or taken to a drug house, cold, dark, scared and alone, and helping mom shoot up, etc.

Mom looking the other way while the man in her life are molesting her young children (even toddler and babies) and denies it even when faced with the facts, or even worse, blaming the child for the sexual abuse.

A 9 month old baby drowns in the bath tub.

Children locked in closets

Can these things really be a mother’s love? A mother’s love is knowing that she has made some terrible mistakes at the expense of her children, and taking responsibility for them. There is no benefit in blaming society, foster parents, child welfare system or anyone else in the choices that she has made in life.

Love is getting herself together to become the mother her children deserve and putting her children before all else. The energy she uses in blaming others would go along way in getting her life together for her children. The mother is the only one that can fix this mess her children are in. A mother’s love is learning from her mistakes and becoming a better person and mother to her children.