A reader posed a question to me after reading a blog I wrote for my daughter on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The blog was a reminder that racism and prejudice are alive and well in today’s world. I suggested that it is up to us parents, to change the world’s thinking, at home one child at a time. We cannot allow our children to make racist comments, repeat, or even listen to racist jokes at home. Educate your children about judging a person by his or her heart, actions, and words, instead of by the color of skin.

Here is the readers comment.

Question... more

One of the rewards of foster parenting is when a birth parent thanks you; when you know that a birth parent really appreciates all you have done, and all you are doing, for his or her child. My five-year-old foster daughter’s mother looked me in the eyes and said, “I couldn’t do what you do. I don’t know how you can do it.” The name of a child we had fostered several years ago had come up and she had asked me about whom we were talking. I explained that it was a child we thought we were adopting. She had come into our family as a newborn and had stayed until she was 20 months... more

Transitioning foster children back to their family home is a difficult process for everyone involved. Regardless of their ages, the children will act out if they have been in the foster home for more than a few weeks. The way they act out will depend on their maturity level. Younger children may start throwing temper tantrums and have difficulty sleeping at night that may include nightmares. If the child was recently potty trained, it could be undone by the transitioning process. All children tend to treat their foster parents with increasing disrespect, as their return... more

You have fostered a child for several months or perhaps even a few years. During this time, you have loved the child as one of your own. The foster child may have even been in your home for such a long time that you can hardly remember what it was like without him or her. Sometimes a child is a really good fit into a home and this one was. There were times during the case plan when you wondered if you might be able to adopt the foster child. The birthparents just were not doing what they needed to do, but lately, in the eleventh hour, they have been doing everything... more

Since I last wrote things have become crazy in my life. I wrote that my mom had a massive heart attack leaving her to undergo open heart surgery that required five bypasses. After my last blog she was admitted back to the hospital due to complications. I thought that things would be resolved in a few days but due to her internal bleeding, it turned into a few weeks.

As these events happen in our life, they are never planned, or at the best opportunity for others. I was blessed with the opportunity to be with my mom in a dark, scary time of her life and assist her into get back into her home where she would feel free and comfortable and to the point of caring for herself. It has... more

At this point I have become backed up with responding to comments, questions and emails. Bear with me, I hope to have everything caught in a few weeks. I will always try to address any of these things in a post since the information would also benefit others. So, please keep checking back on the foster care blog for my reply.

When I reply to emails I will not give names or other information that is provided to me. Only the basic information that other readers need to follow the post will be shared. If anyone... more

Young Foster Child as Care Giver - Comprise

I have talked in detail about foster children struggling with being the mother figure or care giver role before coming into care. Older foster children struggling with being the responsible care giver and how to find a... more

Younger foster children that have been in a care giver role can be a little more difficult to work with. Since it has to do with their fears, need for consistency, and not fully understanding things. For most young ones in time with repeated routine they learn to accept you the foster parents as the care giver and learn to rely on you for that. This is something that will not happen overnight and will take time.

Remember, they need to learn that you will not hurt them and that they can trust you. They may not be able to do these things one hundred percent due... more

It can be quite the balance to come up with an acceptable compromise so that the foster child has some mothering type, or care giver type of responsibility. Granted not every foster child will have this problem or they will accept you as the parental role. I personally have dealt with this with older children and younger as well, so I will share how I handle both.

With my 10 year old foster daughter she was very mothering along with all the chores that come... more

It is very hard for foster children coming into your home that have been in the provider or parental role. They come into a strange new home were they have no control and loss their responsibilities. Their responsibilities is a big part of their life and part of who they are.

My belief is that the children should have childhoods with some limited responsibilities. I have learned that this is harder for some foster children to accept. Being a child and not having adult responsibilities is something that does take some time and some children always feel the... more